Some believe that nothing under the sun is truly original these days.  And, there at least a little truth in that saying.

While reading at one of my most favorite blogs, Molly’s Daily Kiss, I found that Molly was in progress on a project called 101 things in 1001 days.  I have to say I was very impressed.  So impressed, in fact, I’m considering starting my own version of that project in the near future.  At the very least, I’m likely to have Serafina use the concept for setting goals.

One of the items on Molly’s list (item #5) was to answer the 50 Questions That Will Free Your Mind.  That task seemed like such a great undertaking that I immediately started the task myself.

So, without further ado, I present my answers to . . .

50 Questions That Will Free Your Mind

dee-and-meHow old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are?
I feel about 35 years old to be very honest, in fact I feel better than I actually felt 15 years ago, at 35.

Which is worse, failing or never trying?
I do not believe there is any dishonor in trying and failing. To have never tried, that just seems sad.

If life is so short, why do we do so many things we don’t like and like so many things we don’t do?
Henry David Thoreau said, “The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation.” I tend to agree, as I believe most folks are afraid to embrace their kink, let alone have the courage to live out the wildest desires.  I don’t usually have that problem, although I do have my blind spots.  Doesn’t everyone?

When it’s all said and done, will you have said more than you’ve done?
It seems I’ve done more than my share, but I’ve still said more than I’ve done. Perhaps I just talk too much . . .

What is the one thing you’d most like to change about the world?
Eliminate greed/avarice. I guess it’s my Buddhist side, but always longing for more and more, mostly in the form of money and possessions, seems to be at the root of most human suffering.  It’s also part of the human condition, and part of what makes us strive to make great accomplishments, so it a fine balance to strike for.

50-Questions-That-Will-Free-Your-Mind-01If happiness was the national currency, what kind of work would make you rich?
I’d like to find work as a sadist, thank you very much. Hurting people who need to be hurt, and doing so in a responsible fashion, it’s such a rush!

Are you doing what you believe in, or are you settling for what you are doing?
I am truly doing what I believe in. That’s true both professionally and personally. I’ve said it before, and no doubt I’ll say it again – “It’s good to be me right now.” This is perhaps the first time in my life I’ve been able to say that, so let’s hope this train stays on the tracks!

If the average human life span was 40 years, how would you live your life differently?
I’d be 10 years dead and gone right now.

To what degree have you actually controlled the course your life has taken?
I’ve always tried to be the master of my own destiny, but until recently fate conspired against me. The last few years are all mine, for better or for worse, and I’m loving it!

Are you more worried about doing things right, or doing the right things?
Damn, here’s where I show my more obsessive compulsive side – I want both. Doing the right thing is terribly important to me, as is doing things right. I’m not result oriented, I’m not process oriented, I’m both!  I’m wondering if that’s not a common trait for many domiants?

You’re having lunch with three people you respect and admire. They all start criticizing a close friend of yours, not knowing she is your friend. The criticism is distasteful and unjustified. What do you do?
I stand up for my friend. I cannot abide people who sit on their hands with their mouth zipped up when a friend is being savaged. Occasionally I lose friendships over this, but the friendships I share are much deeper IMHO. I once had a friend who told me a story about being in that same situation.  I was being savaged by my ex-wife’s little sister and two of her friends.  My friend told of sitting there not knowing whether to say anything or not.  He didn’t defend me at all, and remained silent.   I never returned again to his home, and never again have considered him to be a friend.

If you could offer a newborn child only one piece of advice, what would it be?
Live without compromise in being true to your own nature.

50-Questions-That-Will-Free-Your-Mind-02Would you break the law to save a loved one?
Without a thought. We do what we do for family. I have a Facebook friend, an intentional attorney who lives on Taiwan but often works in China.  She’s helped me to understand that we all choose which laws to obey every day, even if we aren’t completely conscious of the thought process.

Have you ever seen insanity where you later saw creativity?
All the time! There’s a very fine line between genius and insanity. I’ve been a member of MENSA, an organization for individuals who’s intelligence is in the top 2% of the population. The reason I speak of the membership in the past tense, is that I stopped paying my dues and let my membership lapse. Everyone I met there was crazy!

What’s something you know you do differently than most people?
I live in a Master/slave relationship. Those of us practicing M/s are a tiny minority in the kinky community, which is itself a minority population.  We are also polyamorous, again a rarity.  Sex blogging isn’t exactly a common practice either, and few who do blog about kink actually show their faces.  Put it all together, the way I practice kink is relatively unique.

How come the things that make you happy don’t make everyone happy?
I often wonder the same thing . . .

What one thing have you not done that you really want to do? What’s holding you back?
I’d really love to have a one night stand. The problem is that I need an emotional connection with a person before I’d want to have sex with them. That would make a one night stand pretty heart rending.

50-Questions-That-Will-Free-Your-Mind-04Are you holding onto something you need to let go of?
Isn’t everyone?

If you had to move to a state or country besides the one you currently live in, where would you move and why?
I’d like to move to the Pacific Northwest, the Vancouver / Seattle area preferably. I love the temperate rain forests of that area, and have only had one brief opportunity to visit. It’s also where Serafina’s children live.

Do you push the elevator button more than once? Do you really believe it makes the elevator faster?
No I don’t. Why would I?

Would you rather be a worried genius or a joyful simpleton?
Being that I’ve qualified for MENSA, as I mentioned earlier, there’s no escaping that I am a worried genius. I also think the grass is always greener on the other side.

Why are you, you?
I graduated from an exclusive college preparatory school with my classes highest cumulative grade point average, but I never managed to finish college. I’ve been a community organizer, and Chief of Staff to an elected official. I’ve lived a unique life, and it gets more and more so every day.

Have you been the kind of friend you want as a friend?
My friendship isn’t always appreciated, as I’m not afraid to take a friend aside and say something if I see them fucking up their life. That’s made people I love run away, just as it’s caused others to embrace me. Like all things in life, it’s a trait that’s both a positive and negative. Yes.

Which is worse, when a good friend moves away, or losing touch with a good friend who lives right near you?
A good friend moving away is more sad, but losing a good friend who’s nearby seems more tragic.

What are you most grateful for?

Would you rather lose all of your old memories, or never be able to make new ones?
I think I could cope better if I was able to maintain my current memories, even if unable to make new ones.  To start again without history would be very displacing.

50-Questions-That-Will-Free-Your-Mind-06Is is possible to know the truth without challenging it first?
I think a person needs to either challenge truth, or be challenged by a truth, before they truly know it.

Has your greatest fear ever come true?
Yes. People die. I’ve learned that is simply a part of life.  Embrace irony, or it will eat you for supper!

Do you remember that time 5 years ago when you were extremely upset? Does it really matter now?
Yes, it still does. Five years ago I was fighting with incompetent hospitalists for my Mother’s life.  That will always matter to me.

What is your happiest childhood memory? What makes it so special?
The day before my 13th birthday I hit my first little league homerun. We were behind 3-0 in the bottom half of the final inning of a tournament game, I was at bat. The pitcher on the mound had a no hitter going, but two walks and an error had loaded the bases ahead of me. As I touched homeplate, I was lifted to the shoulders of my teammates and carried off the field. That sort of feeling is damn hard to beat.

At what time in your recent past have you felt most passionate and alive?
The last time Serafina and I played BDSM games, had a scene together.

If not now, then when?
Now is good.

If you haven’t achieved it yet, what do you have to lose?
Not a thing.

Have you ever been with someone, said nothing, and walked away feeling like you just had the best conversation ever?
Oh yes. The most recent instance was standing on the deck of the Kinky Kabin last October with my friend Alpha, smoking cigars. Serafina was inside waiting, naked and bound. We soaked up the fall colors, enjoyed the crisp air, and said very little. It was glorious!

Why do religions that support love cause so many wars?
If I knew the answer to that question, I could heal the world.

50-Questions-That-Will-Free-Your-Mind-07Is it possible to know, without a doubt, what is good and what is evil?
Yes, I do believe there are some actions which are morally reprehensible. There are actions which are truly evil. There are also selfless acts of good done for love that are inherently good.

If you just won a million dollars, would you quit your job?
No. I help people as a profession, I won’t give that up until I am either physically or mentally unable to continue. I would however go into a state of semi-retirement. I’d equip a RV as a dungeon space and hit the road for parts of the year.

Would you rather have less work to do, or more work you actually enjoy doing?
What I have right now is pretty ideal for my temperament.

Do you feel like you’ve lived this day a hundred times before?

When was the last time you marched into the dark with only the soft glow of an idea you strongly believed in?
I think I’m doing that right now, in fact, in a number of ways.

If you knew that everyone you know was going to die tomorrow, who would you visit today?
It’s hard to justify taking any time away from spending it with Serafina alone, and certainly she’d be with me for the trip. We’ve had our differences, and it seems as though she can’t honestly abide my dominant nature (at least at times anyway) – but I’d most want to see my friend Lexxi Derrière. As irritated as we’ve gotten with each other at times, I can’t deny that she holds a special place in my heart, second only to Serafina in the affection I currently feel for a woman. I’d want to see my dear friend Dee as well, I miss her dearly. I’d go out of my way to see my friend Alpha, for sure.  I’d like to see Lady Jennifer and puppet too.  DarkKitty and her Master Kenn are also on the short list.  My wonderful friend DragonMoon, who I protect, also needs to be seen.   I have some wonderful friends, the list continues to grow all the time!

50-Questions-That-Will-Free-Your-Mind-08Would you be willing to reduce your life expectancy by 10 years to become extremely attractive or famous?
(insert gratuitous but semi-topical David Bowie lyric)

Fame, (fame) makes a man take things over
Fame, (fame) lets him loose, hard to swallow
Fame, (fame) puts you there where things are hollow
Fame (fame)
Fame, it’s not your brain, it’s just the flame
That burns your change to keep you insane (sane)

What is the difference between being alive and truly living?
If you have to ask yourself this question, you are doing it all wrong!

When is it time to stop calculating risk and rewards, and just go ahead and do what you know is right?
I always calculate the risks and rewards first, carefully, before jumping in with both feet.

If we learn from our mistakes, why are we always so afraid to make a mistake?
Because mistakes can hurt others. Sometimes knowledge isn’t worth that price.

What would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge you?
I’m trying my best to live that way right now.

When was the last time you noticed the sound of your own breathing?
Last night, after making love to my slave, as we fell asleep together, holding each other.

What do you love? Have any of your recent actions openly expressed this love?
I love Serafina. I love the BDSM lifestyle. I love my friends. I believe I’ve openly expressed as much in this very post . . .

In 5 years from now, will you remember what you did yesterday? What about the day before that? Or the day before that?
I can look back on this blog and see! I’ll remember, unless I’m stricken with Alzheimer’s disease.

Decisions are being made right now. The question is: Are you making them for yourself, or are you letting others make them for you?
I’m deciding, and it feels wonderful.


Models for this post are friends Dee and Dragonmoon, as well as yours truly, Michael Samadhi. Photography by Serafina Samadhi.

Michael's Musings 50 Questions That Will Free Your Mind
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