Any early experiences that, in retrospect, hint at your kinks?

Any early experiences that, in retrospect, hint at your kinks?

This entry is part 5 of 15 in the series 30 Days of Kink w/ Michael
  • Day 4: Any early experiences that, in retrospect, hint at your kinks?

I’m thinking that I really need to do a better job of looking ahead in these questions so I don’t answer them in advance.  At least not again . . .

Part of my answer for the previous post, Day 3, directly addresses today’s question . . .

And let’s be honest, even before I turned 12 I was doing things that were more than a little out of the ordinary. When playing “cowboys and indians” or “war” with the other neighbor kids, I wasn’t as interested in killing anyone as I was in taking captives. I wanted prisoners!

If I could get way with it, I even wanted to tie their hands together. And not only did I desire prisoners, I wanted to keep them in captivity.

I wanted to stand guard over them. I wanted to make them ask me permission for even the simplest of things, like a drink of water. And, without a doubt, the worst part of my day was quitting time, as that was the time I had to release the prisoners I’d taken earlier in the day.

So, I suppose there was always an element of what now would be considered “kink” even in my childhood play.

At least in part, I’ve already provided at least an answer to this question.

The reality is, that in retrospect, as many of the moments and accomplishments of my life as possible were turned into a form of preparation to become the dominant I am today.  Everything I have done gives a hint at my kinks.  That’s simply my own inclination.

When I want something badly enough, I find a way.  And, there’s nothing I’ve wanted in life anything more than to be a BDSM Master. Nothing.

Any early experiences that, in retrospect, hint at your kinks?


How did you discover you were kinky?

How did you discover you were kinky?

This entry is part 4 of 15 in the series 30 Days of Kink w/ Michael
  • How did you discover you were kinky?

While I think it’s true that some people have a special “ah-ha” moment where they discover their own personal kinky nature, it is pretty hard to go back to remember a time when I wasn’t kinky.  That’s true, if for no other reason, than it was so very long ago.

I’m really only 50 years old, but going back in time to a place before I knew I had twisted kinky desires is a pretty long trip.

We’d need to go back at least 38 years to find a time before I’d discovered my own kink.  Ironically, that’s the same number of years our new love Sinnja has been on the planet.

No doubt I was a precocious lad for my era, at age 13 I lost my virginity to the daughter of my mother’s best friend.  And, at that point I was already having fantasies that involved bondage and discipline.  So, to find that that first moment, to answer the question – How did you discover you were kinky? – we’ve got to go back to when I was 12 years old.

And let’s be honest, even before I turned 12 I was doing things that were more than a little out of the ordinary.  When playing “cowboys and indians” or “war” with the other neighbor kids, I wasn’t as interested in killing anyone as I was in taking captives.  I wanted prisoners!

If I could get way with it, I even wanted to tie their hands together. And not only did I desire prisoners, I wanted to keep them in captivity.

I wanted to stand guard over them.   I wanted to make them ask me permission for even the simplest of things, like a drink of water.   And, without a doubt, the worst part of my day was quitting time, as that was the time I had to release the prisoners I’d taken earlier in the day.

So, I suppose there was always an element of what now would be considered “kink” even in my childhood play.  But, to find the closest thing I have to an “ah-ha” moment where I can properly answer, “How did you discover you were kinky?”, we’d have to go back to something like early 1976.

Like losing my virginity, my first moment of kinky awareness came with a girl I had a crush on at the time, my mother’s best friend’s daughter.  Her name was Shelly, and it seemed we were thrown together a lot, being the children of friends who spent lots and lots of time socializing.

I remember it was a Saturday night, as Shelly and I were laying in her parent’s bed watching an episode of Saturday Night Live together.  Shelly’s father had an extensive collection of Playboy and Penthouse magazines, we often entertained ourselves looking through them, although we usually waited until the adults had a few drinks under their belts before starting that form of entertainment.

We liked to share pictures we enjoyed with each other as we paged through the magazines together.  Shelly had an awesome eye for great photos of women[ 2. I suppose I should not be at all surprised that she grew up to be a lesbian?] but this night she opened the magazine to a story, and asked me to read it.

At first I was a little perplexed and even off put.  I honestly thought the line about reading the articles in Playboy and Penthouse was a complete joke.  I was studying the pictures in my own magazine – for science – giving myself female anatomy lessons!  Who had time to read?

But Shelly was right, this particular story was really good.  It was the tale of a husband and wife who decided to spice up their sex lives with some bondage, and it ended with her essentially becoming his sex slave on weekends.  The story introduced all sorts of interesting ideas for future fantasy sessions.

I remember he created what would be the equivalent of sensory deprivation using a pillow case for a hood, cotton clothesline for bondage, and oven mitts as gloves to prevent her from using fingers to untie herself. If I remember correctly, the story also included his best friend joining the storyteller for some hot action with the bound and helpless wife on Saturday nights.

It was very hot stuff.  It was very impressive to an impressionable 12 year old.

At that moment I knew what I wanted!

I wanted to be THAT man.  I wanted to be the story teller.  More than anything in the world, at that moment, I wanted to have a woman I could control,  bind and tie, tease and torment.  I wanted to recreate everything in the story for myself, piece by piece, moment by moment.

That was my “ah-ha” moment, my time of realization.  Oh yes, like any young boy I wanted to experience sex.  I’d settle for vanilla sex if I had to.  But the flame had been kindled.

Still today, I am inescapably drawn to that same flame . . .

how did you discover you were kinky?


List Your Kinks!

List Your Kinks!

This entry is part 3 of 15 in the series 30 Days of Kink w/ Michael
  • List your kinks.

In my first post for this meme I stated:

“My interest in BDSM is wide ranging. It’s my intent that my education, as well as my scope of knowledge, be as comprehensive as possible for one man.”

Did I really say that?


Fuck . . . That’s a lot to live up to!

Me and my big mouth.  One of these days I’m going to talk myself into trouble, no doubt about it1.

Not to mention the fact that I think this is going to be a very looooooong list!  In fact it would be far more expedient to simply list my hard limits.  Unfortunately, listing hard limits is question #10.

I’d have to say my primary kink is dominance.  Followed closely by sadism.  In all things regarding BDSM I also work to achieve some level of mastery.  I covered all that on Day 1.

I’m also an active practitioner of polyamory.  While Serafina is truly my beloved wife, I also love Sinnja, a love that’s growing stronger with every passing day.  I’m a truly blessed man in oh so many ways.  We’ve formed a beautiful triad, committed to each others happiness.  We are just now getting started making long term plans together.

I’ve also been exploring Tantra for close to two decades now.  It’s not the overpowering great passion I find for BDSM / kink, but it does touch a core within me.  I find that tehre is a strong relationship/similiarity between some of the headspace created by Tantra and BDSM, as both are prone to creating altered states of consciousness. Tantric practices strike a thread that reverberate strongly, so Tantra will be something I continue to explore as a tangent from practicing the art of BDSM.

Bondage itself a wonderful art, as well as and a great turn on for me.  As usual, I’m a generalist here rather than a specialist.  Rope is wonderful, but I’m not any sort of exclusive Shibari artist.  Restraints of all types rock, whether they are leather or cold steel.  Handcuffs are classic for some forms of uniformed role play, not to mention as simple down and dirty restraint for those times when there just isn’t any time.  It’s not the most common fetish item in terms of restraint, but I even have a lovely spandex sleep sack that’s useful for longer term bondage and confinement.

Orgasm control is another facet of kink I love exploring.  Serafina hasn’t had an orgasm without asking permission first since 2005, and we’re starting the same sort of training with our new love Sinnja.  There’s something very powerful and primal about controlling most submissive’s favorite reward, holding the power to ultimately grant or deny them the peak of sexual pleasure.  In the end, all dominance is about control, orgasm control seems to take the whole concept to it’s ultimate sexual peak.  Hot, hot stuff indeed.

I do have a bit of a fetish for blindfolds, gags, and hoods.  In my mind, these are yet another form of bondage.  I view them as simply another way to make my submissive feel restrained, vulnerable, and helpless.  I like gags so much that I wrote a 9 part (and counting) series of posts on gags at my blog – Guide to Gags (keeping her quiet).

Impact play is another passion.  I love to create interesting ranges of sensations for Serafina and Sinnja using floggers, canes, rods, paddles, straps, belts, crops, whips, quirts, wooden spoons, hairbrushes, bare hand etc.  Of the various “implements of instruction” I’m probably most adept with floggers and single-tail whips, but can use most any impact play tool with confidence and skill.

Yet, another passion of mine is sensation play of all kinds.  This can range (and usually does) from sensuous to sadistic in intensity.  Tools used for this kind of play include clips, clamps, chopsticks, rubber bands, fingers, feathers, brushes, fur, etc.  Almost anything imaginable with an interesting texture can be used for sensation play.

Knife play is an art unto itself, an art I’ve been exploring for a while now.  The latest innovation is using machetes and swords to strip a submissive.  Stripping with swords and big knives puts on a great show, and is unbelievable amounts of fun for everyone involved.  But, as with all forms of edge play, it is not something to approach lightly, in person training in such an art is always highly advisable.

I’ve not ever been a big role-player, at least not in sexual terms.  There was a time when I played more than my share of Dungeons and Dragons, but that’s not the kind of roleplay I’d list as a kink.  I have enjoyed playing interrogator in a scene, as well as kidnapper/abductor, but this isn’t an arena I’ve explored yet with any great depth.  There’s so much kink to explore, where do I find time for this one?

I’m seriously into kinky photography, at least as a part of our scenes.  We don’t light the scenes specifically for our photographs, but we do like to document our fun, at least before it gets too serious.  So you won’t find an array of studio lighting here, but those who follow me at Fetlife see even more photographs than are found here.  I’m not  photographic professional but I am competent and prolific.

My newest kink is probably cuckolding.  Blame my friend Alpha, if any blame needs be assigned, he’s the one who really helped to increase my interest in this particular kink.  Our new love Sinnja is married to a submissive man, so obviously there is opportunity to explore here if I wish.  In the end, the deciding factor will be how much it would complicate the relationship we’ve already built.  Sinnja’s ultimate goal, as it currently stands, is to be slave to both Serafina and myself.  In the end, that’s far more important to me than fulfilling a cuck fantasy, so exploring this one is on hold while I ponder it all.

The longer I sit and think, the more fun things I want to list.  There’s more, oh so much more, but there’s only so many hours in the day, and so many days in the month, so I have to call an end to it somewhere.

I’ll end this all with a listing of my “fetishes” from Fetlife.  Obviously, some are more than a little bit tongue in cheek, but the list exists, so why not bring it over here to my blog . . .


Into: “a knife? are you flirting with me?”“skirts with no panties” (watching others wear)10-9-8-7-6-5-4-3-2-1 cum you slut1950s household,24/7 access to her bodyabduction play (giving)abrasion play (giving)anal(giving)anal hooks (giving)anal sexarmbinders (watching others wear)ass play (giving)bald girlsball gagsbare bottom spanking (giving)bare handed spanking (giving)bastinado (giving)bdsm (everything to do with it),begging (receiving)belly dance (watching)belt spanking (giving)biting,blindfolds (giving)blow jobs (receiving)bondage (giving)boss/secretary,breast bondage (giving)breast spanking (giving)breast whipping (giving),breast/nipple torture (giving)breath playburlesque (watching),caging/confinement (giving)candle wax (giving)chainschakra energy play,chastity devicesclaire adamscling filmclit pumping (giving)clit spanking(giving)clit torture (giving)cock worship (receiving)collar and lead/leash(giving)controlling how she dressescontrolling when she orgasmscorset training (giving)corsets (watching others wear)costumes/dressing-up(everything to do with it)cunnilingus (everything to do with it)damsels in distressdeep throating (receiving)dildos (giving)discipline (giving),domination (giving)e-stimelectrical playelectrotortureerotic literature,erotic photographyexhibitionismfishnets (watching others wear)flaming kevlar bullwhips/fire whipsflogger (giving)flogging (giving)gagging you with your own dirty pantiesgarter belt (watching others wear)grand canyon,hair pulling (giving)handcuffsharem fantasyharem girlshigh heels(watching others wear)hot oil massages (everything to do with it)humiliation(giving)hunting split tail doeintelligence (everything to do with it)knife play(giving)leatherleaving markslight bastinado (giving)lingerie (watching others wear)locking collarsmasks (everything to do with it)master/slave,mind fucksmultiple orgasms (giving)oral sex (everything to do with it),orgasm control (giving)owning a slave/slavespinchingpower exchange,predator/preypursuit, take-down & capturereal handcuffsrestraints(giving)rimmingrole playrope bondage/suspension (giving)sadism(giving)sensory deprivationsex in public (everything to do with it)spanking(giving)spiritual bdsm (everything to do with it)spreader barsstockings and garter belt (watching others wear)strap-ons (watching others wear)talking dirty(everything to do with it)tearing off clothingthreesomestoystoys under clothing in public (watching)trainingverbal humiliation and degradation(giving)vibratorsvintage porn (watching)voyeurismwartenberg pinwheels(giving)waxwhips.

Curious about: “actually reading people’s profiles!”ballet boots/shoes(watching others wear)bimboificationbukkake (giving)chain floggingcorset piercing (watching others wear)directing gang bangsdoctor/nurse play,equine necroflagellationerotic hypnosisfistingfoot/feetfucking in an elevatorfucking machines (watching)gangbangsgorean slave positions,having chains inserted into my pussy (giving)latexmaking home movies,nun/priest playnyotaimoriplay rape (giving)so, whereabouts in antarctica do you live?sybianwill the feed ever be up?.

list your kinks!


Introduction to 30 Days of Kink

Introduction to 30 Days of Kink

This entry is part 1 of 15 in the series 30 Days of Kink w/ Michael

I made it through the Blogging from A to Z Challenge back in April.  It was a lot of fun. I got to write some really nice essays for my site.  In fact, one of them – “O” is for Outlaw No More – was picked by the judges at e[lust] as one of the top three sex blogger posts for the month of April.

Without a doubt, the challenge was good inspiration.

And, it was a good intellectual exercise for me as well.  All in all, it was great fun and a good experience.  I even plan to do it again next year.

Of the four full months my blog’s been in existence, I’ve already had two full months with a daily meme.  Not only did I take part in the A to Z Challenge, I also was in on February Photo Fest.

Many of the folks who took part in the A to Z Challenge are taking a well deserved rest about now.  I mean, it’s a lot of work to create good content for a blog every day, week upon week without end.  It’s easy to burn out when blogging for that kind of schedule, especially when there’s also my real world business to run.

So, I’ve taken some time off too.  My own posting during the month of May has been a little bit sparse.  Some of that was recovering from the intensity of the Blogging from A to Z Challenge.  And, in part, I’ve been preoccupied by the blossoming relationship with Sinnja.

And, truth be told, Serafina is without a doubt the real priority in my life, this blog will always play second fiddle to her needs.  I mean this blog is quite important to me, but my slave/wife is IMPORTANT!  

With that said, we’ve cancelled all of our previous event plans for June.  Due to the burgeoning relationship with Sinnja, we re-prioritized some of our summer travel plans, and won’t be cavorting at Twisted Tryst in June, at least not this year.  So this appears to be an opportune time to undertake another significant writing project, and the 30 Days of Kink meme is a perfect fit.

And, as an added bonus, Serafina is planning to join in with her own 30 days of Kink too!  I’m creating a separate series for her, as a list containing 60 posts would get more than a little bit unwieldy to navigate.

The 30 Days of Kinkmichael-samadhi-004

  • Day 1: Dom, sub, switch? What parts of BDSM interest you? Give us an interesting in-depth definition of what that means to you. Basically define your kinky self for us.
  • Day 2: List your kinks.
  • Day 3: How did you discover you were kinky?
  • Day 4: Any early experiences that, in retrospect, hint at your kinks?
  • Day 5: What was your first kinky sexual experience? If you haven’t had one yet, talk about what you hope to have happen.
  • Day 6: Describe your weirdest/most interesting sexual fantasy.
  • Day 7: What’s your favorite toy?
  • Day 8: Post a kinky image you find erotic.
  • Day 9: Post a kink related song or music video you enjoy.
  • Day 10: What are your hard limits?
  • Day 11: What are your views on the ethics of kink?
  • Day 12: Tell us about a humorous BDSM/kink experience you’ve had. If you haven’t had one, talk about aspects of kink/BDSM you find funny.
  • Day 13: Explain as best you can what the appeal of kink/BDSM is to you? Why are you drawn to what you’re drawn to?
  • Day 14: How would you say real life BDSM/kink varies from fantasy BDSM/kink? If you haven’t experienced real life BDSM/kink how do you think it might differ?
  • Day 15: Post a BDSM/kink activity you’re curious about and would like to try.
  • Day 16: What are the most difficult aspects of having a sexuality that involves kink or BDSM for you personally?
  • Day 17: What misconception about kinky people would you most like to clear up?
  • Day 18: Any kinky/BDSM pet peeves? If so, what are they?
  • Day 19: Any unexpected ways kink has improved your life? If so, what are they?
  • Day 20: Talk about something within kink/bdsm that you’re curious about/don’t understand.
  • Day 21: Favorite BDSM related book (fiction or non-fiction)
  • Day 22: What do you think is important in keeping a BDSM relationship healthy? How does it differ from a vanilla relationship?
  • Day 23: Since you first developed an interest in kink, have your interests/perspectives changed? How so?
  • Day 24: What qualities do you look for in a partner?
  • Day 25: How open are you about your kinks?
  • Day 26: What’s your opinion on online BDSM play?
  • Day 27: Do your non-kink interests ever find their way into your kinky activities? If so, how?
  • Day 28: How do you dress for kink/BDSM play? What significance does your attire have to you?
  • Day 29: Do you have a BDSM title (e.g. mistress, master, slut, pig, whore, princess, goddess, ma’am, sir)? What is your opinion of the use of titles in general?
  • Day 30: Whatever BDSM/kink related thing you want to write about.
30 Days of Kink w/ Michael