Happy, Baby Won’t You Keep Me… Happy | Smutober

Smutober Day 16 | Baby Won’t You Keep Me… Happy

never kept a dollar past sunset, it always burned a hole in my pants

Sinnjara, Tricia, Michael (left to right)


Baby Won’t You Keep Me… Happy

We all want to be happy. Well perhaps most want to be happy, I’m not so sure about Baudelaire. Sometimes I think he reveled in being tortured. Then I think to myself, he was human too, he wanted what we all want.

But how much is your happiness worth? Is it ever worth the cost of other’s happiness? Is happiness like love? Poly people like to use the analogy of love and children. It’s the belief that we have the capacity to love many, just as we have the capacity to love more than one child. I think that’s true. Well, most days I think it’s true.

If that were true, it would seem there’s plenty of love and happiness in the world to go around. We all know that’s not true on the grand scale of things. The world needs more love. Most of us could use more happiness too. I’d like to believe that our own happiness enriches the world. Most days I know that to be fact. Todays is a day, however, full of creeping doubt.

As I learn and grow, that growth sometimes leads me in new directions. I’m not exactly the same person I was five years ago, My Mother’s death changed me. I’m certainly not the person I was 10 years ago, my divorce from Bliss changed me too. Just under twenty years ago, my Father abandoned my Mother for another woman after 40 years of marriage, leaving me to be Mom’s caregiver. No doubt that changed me as well.

Anytime I change, anytime I reach for my own happiness, it leaves destruction in its wake. When I change and grow, it seems to hurt others around me. They still cling to the Michael they loved, adored, or served. When that same exact Michael is no longer there, it hurts them.

I don’t want to sound egotistical. It’s not that I’m such a great man that I ever really deserved the love and adoration they gifted upon me. It’s just that I seem to have a great ability to create co-dependent relationships. And that codependency, I think, leads to great disruption as I go through the stages of life we all navigate.

My very first girlfriend showed up a few years ago, it had been 30 years since I’d had any contact. She said that she still loved me, that breaking up with me was the worst mistake she’d ever made. Bliss, my second wife, still feels she was pushed aside by Serafina. Now, Serafina feels pushed aside by Sinnjara.

How did this happen? I never wanted a monogamous relationship. I always wanted a big happy polyamorous family. But, there’s no doubt that poly relationships are more difficult to navigate than mono. They say communication is the key to poly. I’m told I’m a great communicator. I have special expertise there, I’ve served as a Press Secretary and spokesperson after all. In relationships, I’m also told I sometimes communicate too much. Go figure, right?

In the end, we all want to be happy. We all want the fulfilled life of our dreams. But, how does a person justify seeking happiness if it always has to come at a cost?

Sinnjara, Michael, Serafina

Well I never kept a dollar past sunset,
It always burned a hole in my pants.
Never made a school mama happy,
Never blew a second chance, oh no

I need a love to keep me happy,
I need a love to keep me happy.
Baby, baby keep me happy.
Baby, baby keep me happy.

Always took candy from strangers,
Didn’t wanna get me no trade.
Never want to be like papa,
Working for the boss ev’ry night and day.

I need a love to keep me happy,
I need a love, baby won’t ya keep me happy.
Baby, won’t ya keep me happy.
Baby, please keep me

I need a love to keep me happy,
I need a love to keep me happy.
Baby, baby keep me happy.

Never got a flash out of cocktails,
When I got some flesh off the bone.
Never got a lift out of Lear jets,
When I can fly way back home.

I need a love to keep me happy,
I need a love to keep me happy.
Baby, baby keep me happy.
Baby, baby keep me happy.

Happy, baby won’t you keep me
Happy, baby won’t you keep me…

Rolling Stones

Happy, Mick Jagger / Keith Richards

Renaissance Fairs & BDSM ~ Smutober Day 4

Renaissance Fairs & BDSM

BDSM & Renaissance Fairs go together like ducks and water. There are few things in life that are a more natural fit. It’s true that renaissance fairs don’t actively promote the activities there as having BDSM undertones. They are family events after all.

But, there’s no denying that dunking wenches is akin to a form of BDSM water bondage/play. Outside of a dungeon event, or play party, where else besides a Rene Fair are you going to visit to get locked into a jail or cage?

Perhaps you are a cosplayer? There’s really no better public venue (short of a cosplay convention) to show off your lovely/scary/menacing/sexy costumed self. The gladiator style leathers you picked up at last year’s IML will fit in perfectly here. So will the executioners hood that looks so scary hot on your partner in your dungeon at home.

And, that’s true for folks into roleplay too. Attending a renaissance fair is something like roleplayers wet dream. It gives the opportunity to stay in character as long as they choose.

Ren Fairs even offer shopping opportunities for kinky minded individuals. Certainly, if you wished to someday try the infamous “Samadhi sword clothes cutoff” (don’t try this at home without proper instruction) you can find finely forged bladed instruments at a Rennaissance Fair.  Items of this sort also make outstanding decorations for classic dungeon decor.

I can find pervertables almost anywhere. But, it’s also good to know that a Fair is as good a place as any to search for items that can be turned to good use for kinky fuckery. A somewhat limited selection of what could be called BDSM style toys (whips and the like are not completely uncommon) and pervertables may also be found at an SSC (or similar style organization) event.

It may go without saying, but I’ve always thought a timely reminder to sometimes be good… Strict attention to quality should never be overlooked. Anytime I’m dealing with handmade items being sold at any sort of festival or fair, I’m really quite picky. A toy serves no one well if it self-destructs after only a few uses.

Finally, it’s worth mentioning that attending a Renaissance Fair can be a good way for the shy among us to get their feet wet in a “world beyond vanilla”. Sure, it’s not quite a play party, public dungeon or BDSM festival, but it’s also a lot easier to explain to inquisitive family members asking where you went last weekend…

I think that maybe I’m dreaming

I smell cinnamon and spices
I hear music everywhere
All around kaleidoscope of color
I think that maybe I’m dreaming

Maids pass gracefully in laughter
Wine coloured flowers in their hair
Last call from lands I’ve never been to
I think that maybe I’m dreaming

Sun’s flash on a soda prism
Bright jewels on the ladies flashing
Eyes catch on a shiny prism

Hear ye the crying of the vendors
Fruit for sale wax candles for to burn
Fires flare soon it will be night fall
I think that maybe I’m dreaming

I think that maybe I’m dreaming
I think that maybe I’m dreaming

Renaissance Fair

The Byrds (1967)

Smutober 2017 – Day 4

A Song For You | TMI Tuesday: March 27, 2012

A Song For You

TMI Tuesday: March 27, 2012

Answer the following questions using only song titles. Make sure you link to the song or the song’s lyrics so that we can listen to or read the song.

1. What is your present state of mind?  

American Dreaming – Dead Can Dance

2. How do you feel about your spouse, significant other, or someone you lust for?

Lovesong – The Cure

3. Describe your job.

Bela Lugosi’s Dead – Bauhaus

4. What are you hungry for?

Have a Coke and a Smile

5. What’s your favorite color?

Paint it Black – Rolling Stones

6. What gets you excited?

Master And Servant – Depeche Mode

7. Who do you think you are?

Lagartija Nick – Bauhaus

It is a confessional of sorts where people come to reveal too much information...

TMI Tuesday blog
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