We had a small celebration of sorts yesterday.
One year ago today Serafinas was officially collared as my slave. We could neither afford, nor did we have the energy to put together anything big this year to celebrate, so we simply invited our very dear friend Alpha Bull down to visit. Our friendship with Alpha is by far the deepest we share in the community, which itself is significant.
But, the invitation was full of other meaning as well. In addition to giving the formal toast after the ceremony, Alpha was the man chosen to bring a blindfolded and nearly naked Serafina down the aisle to me, on a leash. To top everything else off, Alpha had given us a case of Naked Wines as a gift at the ceremony, and I’d promised to share one bottle with him on the event’s anniversary. I’ve actually held back the entire case, thinking that as long as the wine holds out, we can sample a bottle every year on the collaring’s anniversary.
For yesterday, Sinnjara supplied a very delicious Rye Whiskey she picked up just for the event, as she’d once heard me mention that Rye was one of Alpha’s favorite drinks. Serafina slaved over the stove for two consecutive days to produce a chocolate cake-pie and a Lemon Meringue pie.
Me? I supplied the cigars. Sinnjara smoked a Tatiana Mocha Caramely, Serafina had a CAO Cherry Bomb Cigarillo, while Alpha and I savored the pairing of Sinnja’s rye whiskey with a Joya De Nicaragua Antaño 1970 Lanceros.
Also, mirroring my efforts at the collaring ceremony, I grilled meat. I’ve been cooking meat over a grill since the 1970’s, I did it professionally while supporting myself as a youth. It’s not only something I’m good at, it’s a joy for me to do as well. Slow cooking meat over a grill is almost as relaxing as enjoying a fine cigar. Pairing the two together (not to mention the addition of Sinnjara’s Rye) is always an outstanding experience for me.
As we were sitting around discussing the news, the topic of rape play came up. It seems that a mutual friend of ours acted out a rape fantasy with a lady at the Kinky Kottage, so Alpha was sharing the story as he knew it.
Now let’s be honest, rape play isn’t an everyday topic here, but, truth told, it’s relatively common as a fantasy. I’ve seen estimates that more than 50% of women have, at some time in their life, fantasized about forced or coerced sex. The popularity of what I call “bodice ripping” harlequin style romance novels is proof positive that it’s not an uncommon fantasy at all. Certainly, it’s a marketable niche to say the least.
Now I do want to be clear about one thing – in talking about “rape play” – we are discussing a special niche within BDSM, the realm of consensual non-consent. Because rape and force fantasies are so common, a lot of protocols have been developed within the community to try and make fulfilling the fantasies relatively safe. Even with that said, any kind of consensual non-consent is edge play. It’s not anything to be taken lightly, or to be done without some serious forethought.
I have a very dear friend who hopes to live out rape fantasies. I’ve pledged to help her live them out, and I’m not the kind of man to give my word like that lightly. But, because she has become a dear friend, I’ve begun to wonder if my role in fulfilling her fantasy will only end up being advisory. I may have to help organize her rape, but not be able to take part myself.
Well, the proposition was put forth yesterday, that for a lady to really have her fantasy fulfilled, it’s best done by someone she doesn’t know, a stranger. It’s pretty logical if you think about it. If Dee and I feel affection and sexual attraction for each other, it’s not like anything I do with her could be realistic enough to fulfill the fantasy. Oh I could hurt her, she could struggle, we could have some really nasty rough sex that verged on the non-consensual. That sounds like a good time to me. But seriously, how can it be non-consensual if there is any kind of preexisting attraction?
That’s one key difference between real life and fantasy. In the real world, a high percentage of rapes are committed by individuals who might be considered friends, or at least part of a shared social circle. While there may be women who fantasize about being raped by a friend, that’s not how the fantasy usually works . . .
It was such a fascination conversation that we had, I’d like to continue it here. What are your thoughts on consensual non-consent and rape play?