Day 14: Serafina’s 30 Days of Kink

How real life BDSM/kink varies from fantasy BDSM/kink

By | June 27, 2014
This entry is part 13 of 14 in the series 30 Days of Kink w/ Serafina

How would you say real life BDSM/kink varies from fantasy BDSM/kink? If you haven’t experienced real life BDSM/kink how do you think it might differ?
I would like to refer you to this entry where I explain that we are a 24/7 relationship and for me life as M/s dynamic is not a fantasy, but a reality.  As a reality it changes how you live and act.  Little mistakes can lead to less intimacy, acting out, and distance in the relationship.  To maintain a real life BDSM/kinky relationship it takes much diligence to have the kind of happiness and peace for the kind of intense relationship I crave.

Life in real – BDSM/kink  is a Journey

Life, and the lifestyle one chooses is a journey. . not an arrival. It is a destination, a path with many trails that can lead you entirely off-course or even to an abrupt end. It is a daily, hourly and moment by moment opportunity to keep to the path, or divert. And, we can do all this without even being aware at a conscious level, but the results will show if you are on the path or if you have wandered from your intent. Unless, that is you have already decided that the path you were committing to was not the path you really desire and it is acceptable to change your mind. But remember. . you need to be aware; and also communicate.

We all know that actions speak louder than words. But should one be judged on actions alone?  I think not- to gain perspective one needs to look at the entire picture, and cancel out actions that might be caused by circumstances, like disability or handicap.  Quite often we are trying to convince ourselves that we are on our path of choice,.  Meanwhile we begin to adjust to complacency and neglect to pay close attention to the small details. And soon a small discrepancy becomes an ever increasing distance from the original path. This concept is crudely demonstrated in the following drawing.

At first the mistakes and errors seem negligible, but soon an ever widening gap happens to take one far from the intended goals

At first the mistakes and errors seem negligible, but soon an ever widening gap happens to take one far from the intended goals

Brendan Perry of Dead Can Dance – American Dreaming puts it this way . . . “I need my conscience to keep watch over me To protect me from myself So I can wear honesty like a crown on my head When I walk into the promised land”

 

Mindfulness

From wikipdeia

“Mindfulness (Pali: sati, Sanskrit: smṛti; also translated as awareness) is a spiritual faculty (indriya) that is considered to be of great importance in the path to enlightenment according to the teaching of the Buddha. It is one of the seven factors of enlightenment. “Correct” or “right” mindfulness (Pali: sammā-sati, Sanskrit samyak-smṛti) is the seventh element of the noble eightfold path.

Enlightenment (bodhi) is a state of being in which greed, hatred and delusion (Pali: moha) have been overcome, abandoned and are absent from the mind. Mindfulness, which, among other things, is an attentive awareness of the reality of things (especially of the present moment) is an antidote to delusion and is considered as such a ‘power’ (Pali: bala). This faculty becomes a power in particular when it is coupled with clear comprehension of whatever is taking place”.

The Buddha advocated that “One should establish mindfulness (satipatthana) in one’s day-to-day life maintaining as much as possible a calm awareness of one’s bodily functions, sensations (feelings), objects of consciousness (thoughts and perceptions), and consciousness itself. The practice of mindfulness supports analysis resulting in the arising of wisdom”.

“The true nature of the mind,” says the Dalai Lama, “is beyond any concept or physical form, and therefore it cannot be studied solely by third-person, scientific methods. Mind must also be studied through a rigorous observation of our own subjective experience”.

According to Gandhi, “Inner transformation is the key to change”.

Being mindful is a serious discipline, and to take it seriously will have long-lasting and fruitful events that accelerate your chosen path. It is an extreme awareness of what your habits are telling about you. If one is not happy about the message that is perceived by trusted loved ones, then one must make a conscience decision to make corrections, and be ever more aware of the consequence of any actions.

In Conclusion

decisions

Waiting for Master to instruct

There is no conclusion until death robs one of any further endeavors or actions’ It is a life-long consignment. However real life BDSM/kink  is a choice one makes every moment of every day. It works very well when you have a trusting, and trust-worthy companion. Being mindful may not be easy, but it need not be difficult. Know that if mistakes are made, then there are ways to correct.

Too many people wander about aimlessly in life and when it is over they wonder what happened. Foe me in my personal life I have made a commitment to Submission. I have decided to become a Slave to that real life BDSM/kink  commitment. The commitment is to my Master Michael Samadhi. Near the end of my journey I only need to hear “Well done, you are good and faithful.”

Series Navigation<< Day 12: Serafina’s 30 Days of Kink

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