- Nervous? – Wicked Wednesday #87
- Decisions? They Are Mine!
- The First Time Serafina Was Shared
- Balancing Pain And Pleasure
- I got a prayer with a girl . . .
- Hidden Problems
- Communicate and Educate
- Alone Together Again
- Energy Antennae
- “S” is for Safe Sex
- My Leather Family Comes Full Circle
- There Once Was a Chance I Didn’t Take
- Beyond Considering Sinnja
- Slippery Slopes and Trigger Warnings
- Jealousy – the Green Eyed Monster
- YKINMK – Your Kink Is Not My Kink (and that’s ok)
- Charlotte! (Rhymes with Harlot)
- What Do You Doubt?
- If Orange is the New Black Then Black is the New White
- Sending Smoke Signals
- The difficult truth!
I believe in sunshine.
I don’t mean that literally, like the rays of the sun. Instead I mean it in the sense of everything happening in the light, nothing hidden or deliberately obscured in the shadows.
When I first asked Sinnjara to wear my collar, I told her I only had two real rules – honesty and transparency. Sure, I have protocols that I want to be followed, they all have their own meaning in my heart. But the two rules, they are the core of it all!
Just the other day, I gave an old quote to my Serafina and Sinnjara, I said, ‘The truth shall set you free.” I really believe that it does.
Completely bare honest truth, nothing held back, that’s what I desire. The kind of D/s relationship I want with my girls is all about knowing their desires, then using them for my own ends and means.
I repay their honesty and transparency in the same coin. The only thing I hide from them are the wicked plans my brain is hatching for their training and use. Sometimes it’s better if they don’t know those in advance.
Sometimes the truth is difficult. The thoughts we have aren’t always pretty. But when mistakes are made, and being human it’s inevitable that we ALL will make them, it’s important to me that we own them. If we brush our problems under the carpet, or sweep them out the door, they never were resolved. And those kind of thing tend to hang in the air, getting heavier and heavier over time, until their weight can no longer be borne.
At that point, there’s real trouble, and the recriminations can be worse still.
Why didn’t you tell me?
What else are you hiding?
Those are the questions that often come to mind, And they can be destructive questions. Sometimes, it’s all heavy enough to end good relationships. And, that’s especially true when we start mixing BDSM and polyamory in as part of the relationship’s structure. It’s so easy for submissives and slaves, who tend towards shyness anyway, to decide they don’t need to bother Master with a difficult truth. “Oh, Master has had such a tough day, he doesn’t need the additional burden right now,” or so they can so easily tell themselves.
It’d dangerous territory to enter, at least from my perspective, when we decide to put off the truth. Soon enough, inconvenient truths are forgotten, pushed under the proverbial rug. When the rug accumulates enough of them, the “room” the relationship is inside doesn’t have secure footing for anyone. Sweeping things under the carpet will eventually catch up to a person.
Yes, it can be dangerous (or seem so) to be completely open to another person, but to me the dangers of failing to do so are far far worse.