- Blogging from A to Z Challenge
- “A” is for Acousticophile
- “B” is for Bastinado
- “C” is for Cuckold
- “D” is for Dacryphilia
- “E” is for Edging and Orgasm Control
- “F” is for Frottage
- “G” is for Gang Bangs and Group Sex
- “H” is for Hotel
- “I” is for Inspiration and Influences
- “J” is for the Joy of Kink
- “K” is for Klismaphilia
- “L” is for Limits
- “M” is for Masochist
- “N” is for No Surprises
- “O” is for Outlaw No More
- “P” is for Public Apology
- “Q” is for Queer
- “R” is for Romance
- “S” is for Samadhi – Michael Samadhi
- “T” is for Trust
- “U” is for Unction
- “V” is for Victory
- “X” is for Xenophilia
- “Y” is for Yesterday
- “Z” is for Zelophilia
Edging is a form of orgasm control sometimes practiced as a part of a BDSM scene, or relationship, where an individual is brought to the verge of having an orgasm, only to have the stimulation withdrawn, the potential orgasm delayed/denied. Usually, that cycle of excitement and denial is repeated again and again before the scene is concluded. The way most people play this particular game, it’s the dominant’s prerogative to determine when (or if) the submissive is allowed to orgasm.
Orgasm control is a broader term, it includes edging, tease and denial, as well as a variety of other techniques. It’s ultimate expression is when a submissive has been trained to orgasm on command, usually with a keyword or signal acting as the trigger to cum.
Edging and orgasm control are an important part of the Master/slave dynamic between Serafina and I. I control all of her orgasms. It’s been more than a decade since Serafina has cum without first asking my permission. I expect, that as long as we are together, it will remain that way. And, why wouldn’t it? It’s a very fulfilling “game”1 for us to play together.
A lot of dominants choose orgasm control as a way of expressing their dominance, their mastery over their submissive. I suppose that psychology does exist as a part of the dynamic between Serafina and myself, but that’s not how it started for us. Believe it or not, my control of Serafina’s orgasms started inside the context of Tantra.
I started by teaching Serafina to “hold” her orgasms. The idea was to help her learn to sit right on the edge of orgasm, to extend that delightful moment just before cumming as long as possible. In Tantric terms it’s called “riding the waves of bliss”, and it’s actually part of where my former submissive got her name.
I’ve been controlling my submissive’s orgasms far longer than I’ve known Serafina. It’s been a regular part of my play since 1990. BlissfulTorment, my prior wife and submissive, was very well trained in this sort of play, but she never became as advanced as Serafina has grown to be.
Serafina has learned to ride that edge almost indefinitely. She’s learned to beg for the privilege. And, I must say, she does beg beautifully.
Serafina’s multi-orgasmic. She’s capable of cumming again and again and again, we’ve counted more than 30 orgasms in a single session. Eventually she reaches a point where they never quite quit, the orgasms ebbing and flowing like a river, but never quite stopping. Of course she only gets to that point when I allow it.
With a woman like Serafina, it might seem cruel to deny her even the slightest bit of pleasure. She’s a beautiful slave, she serves me well, and she’s an incredibly sexual being (underneath a calm surface that might appear to be more like your school librarian – prim and proper.) Why not let her cum and cum and cum? Why deny her pleasure?
I guess the simple answer to that is, “Because I can!”
I have that power, and I do enjoy using it. There are times where I tell her that I’m going to use her like a whore, that it’s not about her pleasure, it’s about mine. At those points in time, I’ve trained her to think one thing, and one thing only.
“It’s all about the cock, Sir!” she says to me.
But, if I even start counting backwards, her demeanor changes. She can sense her trigger coming. The need inside her grows. If my countdown reaches “1” she cums, it’s involuntary at that point. If I stop at 2, it’s just more edging and orgasms control, pure and simple.
“e” is for edging and orgasm control
- it’s a little bit hard to describe a lifelong way of living as a “game”, but if BDSM is play, than it’s simple to look at orgasm control as just another game we play ↩