- Blogging from A to Z Challenge
- “A” is for Acousticophile
- “B” is for Bastinado
- “C” is for Cuckold
- “D” is for Dacryphilia
- “E” is for Edging and Orgasm Control
- “F” is for Frottage
- “G” is for Gang Bangs and Group Sex
- “H” is for Hotel
- “I” is for Inspiration and Influences
- “J” is for the Joy of Kink
- “K” is for Klismaphilia
- “L” is for Limits
- “M” is for Masochist
- “N” is for No Surprises
- “O” is for Outlaw No More
- “P” is for Public Apology
- “Q” is for Queer
- “R” is for Romance
- “S” is for Samadhi – Michael Samadhi
- “T” is for Trust
- “U” is for Unction
- “V” is for Victory
- “X” is for Xenophilia
- “Y” is for Yesterday
- “Z” is for Zelophilia
I’ve always been a bit of a sexual geek, and a self taught one at that. The story behind my learning the term frottage is just more proof positive of that fact.
In case you aren’t familiar with the term, frottage is a word used to describe the act of rubbing one’s genitals against another person’s body. Wikipedia says:
Frottage is the general term for the act of rubbing any part of the body, including the buttocks, the breasts, abdomen, thighs, feet, hands, legs and sexual organs against the sexual organ of another person; this is done whether naked or clothed and is more commonly known as dry humping or dry sex. When frottage includes genital-genital rubbing, it is sometimes called genito-genital or GG rubbing.
Couples may engage in frottage as a form of foreplay or simply as a method to achieve sexual gratification without the penetrative aspects of vaginal, anal or oral sexual intercourse, which may be a way of preserving virginity or a way of practicing safe sex. Often, young people will engage in frottage as an earlier stage of physical intimacy before more explicit contact is desired.
Other terms associated with frottage are:
Princeton rub, Ivy League rub, and so on are slang terms referring to male-male frot or intercrural sex or both, presumably surviving from the days when these colleges only admitted men. W. H. Auden was proud of having been the first person to use the terms Princeton rub and Princeton first-year in print.
The term frottage derives from the French verb frotter (i.e., to rub). Three terms derive from frotter. These include frottage, the sexual act involving rubbing; frot, the sexual act that refers exclusively to male-male genital rubbing without penetration (but may also be referred to as frottage); and frotteurism, a paraphilia involving obsession with frottage or performing frottage non-consensually (e.g., pressing one’s genitals against a stranger on a crowded subway); this was once called “frottage,” but the usage is no longer acceptable.
It’s kind of sad that the word frottage has been turned into just another synonym for dry humping. To my eyes, it really seemed more exciting and useful as a term when used in the context of non-consensual genital contact in crowded places like a subway. That’s the context where I learned the term, and up until I pulled up Wikipedia today, that’s what I thought it still meant . . .
If memory serves me correctly, and it may not (we are talking about events from the 1970’s afterall) I was first exposed to the term in the writings of Xaviera Hollander. Ms Hollander was best known as the author of The Happy Hooker, but the success of that book spawned several others, and I think it was in one of those that I first read about frottage.
If it wasn’t in a book like Xaviera!, one of the lesser known sequels to The Happy Hooker, I probably first read about frottage in a copy of Penthouse, Bob Guccione’s racier answer to Playboy. There’s always been a classic joke about men’s magazines like that, husband’s telling their wives they bought the magazines for the articles, not the centerfold and other pictorials. Oh, I looked at the pictures, no doubt about that. But, I could only spend so much time studying anatomy, so I read the stories and articles too.
Somewhere, among those readings, I read about frottage. I guess that would be more properly stated by saying that I read about frotteurism, because frottage isn’t used in the sense that I knew the term. I found the fantasy to be an exciting one.
Now let’s be clear about one thing, I don’t condone non-consensual sexual activity in any physical manner, shape, or form. No means no, always get consent before anything sexual occurs, don’t even violate a person’s space! OK?
What I’m talking about here is the fantasy of frottage. I’m talking about the thought of the sort of public sex act now known as frotteurism. I’m thinking about rubbing against a consenting partner on a crowded subway or train. Maybe it’s just because I was exposed to the fantasy at an impressionable age, but it sounds pretty fucking hot to me! I’m not thinking of acting it out. There are lots of different fantasies I’ve acted on, and acted out, I don’t think this is one I’ll try.
Then again, I’ve also learned to “never say never”. I’ve always had the fantasy of getting a blowjob in a movie theater, but never thought I’d act that one out either. Then last fall, at Kinky Kollege, the opportunity fell into my lap. There at Kinky Kollege a video room plays BDSM porn around the clock, 24/7. It’s not a true movie theater, more of a video conference center with several rows of seating. On Saturday evening, last October at Kinky Kollege Homecoming, during the open dungeon, that was close enough for me . . .
So, I’d never say that one of my fantasies won’t be fulfilled. After all, that’s what places like Twisted Tryst and Kinky Kollege are all about. It’s a great day and age we live in, where there are events like those for fantasy fulfillment. But I can’t say that frottage is terribly high on my sexual bucket list either, so only time will tell if this sort of thing ever gets explored in this current lifetime.
So many fetishes, so little time in which to explore the joy of kink . . .