Could it be that 50 Shades of Grey really opened the floodgates?
Has kink/BDSM really become that mainstream?
I ask those questions because there’s a new line of cigars of which I’ve just become aware.1 Not only is the brand name of the cigars intended to play to the BDSM mentality, the individual cigars are named in a provocative fashion to appeal to folks into BDSM, as well as those who may be attracted to BDSM despite not practicing any kink.
No puns intended, at least none that I know of, they really are named “Torture Sticks” . . .
- Tickle Torture
- Light Flogging
- Public Shunning
So, I know there’s a long association between cigars and BDSM that goes back as far as we’ve got documented history. And, I knew BDSM has become more and more mainstream. But, really? Seriously? A brand called “Torture Sticks” with individual cigars that reference flogging and electric play?
I ran the numbers, figuring the base percentages of folks who admit to BDSM/kink in their bedroom, the percentage of cigar smokers in the US, and while the end number is enough to fill a smaller sized city, it’s hard to picture this brand being anything other than a novelty success. I’m guessing it’s more of a novelty product than anything else, but can’t say for sure until I’ve sampled some torture myself!
Does that mean I’m going “soft” and going to become a switch? Not hardly! It simply means that more cigars have been ordered. Now, if I only had humidor space to keep them all . . .
For the record, here are the individual cigar descriptions as provided by Torture Sticks:
The pleasure and pain sensors of the brain lay very close to one another. The human body is carefully tuned to distinguish the fine line between what feels pleasant and what hurts. Though sometimes the signals get crossed, and what some would describe as pain actually feels like pleasure. That’s why we present the Torture 5 Cigar Sampler Pack. Perfect for a cool fall night under the light of a full moon, this is a deviously delectable collection of five cigars boasting spooky names and a gruesome band. This sampler will have you shouting out in pain as you slowly raise the intensity higher and higher with each cigar in the pack, as they increase in flavor and boldness, from mild to full-bodied.
Below are the five sadistic options we offer in each Torture 5 Cigar Sampler Pack. Choose your punishment carefully…
I. Tickle Torture
Set the mood with something light. The Tickle Torture is a mild Churchill cigar that is sure to get the blood flowing. Beware! Even though it’s the mildest in the pack it still has quite the bite. Tickle Torture is a complex smoke that requires you enjoy slowly. Just like its namesake, it may feel good at first but it does not take long for pleasure to morph into pain…unless you’re into that.
Wrapper: Ecuadorian Sumatra
II. Light Flogging
Things start to get more intense with the Light Flogging. This Habano is a step above than the Tickle Torture. It’s darker and has a spicy flavor. This cigar is perfect for any bad little boy or girl who wants a strong and serious smoke. We can ensure the Light Flogging will teach you a lesson in smoking you’ll never forget.
III. Public Shunning
For some there’s nothing more painful and horrific than rejection and harassment from others. That’s why we present the Public Shunning. Go to your dark place with this deep brown aged Maduro cigar. It’s rich, sweet, and dark taste will help you forget your utter abandonment from society.
You’ll be spilling your darkest secrets when you try our Electroshock cigar. This is a high voltage Torpedo that gets straight to the point with a strong flavor designed to turn your hair on end. Not for novices, this option sits a step below the most severe torture we offer.
Wrapper: Ecuadorian Sumatra
How about a final branding to make you never forget the experience? Consider the last cigar, Branding as your permanent keepsake. The final in this line is a barber pole; two intertwined wrappers coming together for the fullest and boldest flavor in the pack. Just like the searing pain of a red-hot iron on human flesh, this cigar packs a one-two punch with dual wrappers that are just as twisted as we are.
Wrapper: Habano and Connecticut
About the only thing left to add is that one of my sweet darling submissives has already purchased a 5 cigar sampler of Torture Sticks for me, she picked them up within mere moments of seeing the sampler. It’s good to be an alpha male, and it’s even better to have a pair of devoted ladies who take outstanding care of me.
Eventually, I’ll be able to tell you all about the whole line of Torture Sticks, everything from Tickle Torture to Branding. But, at earliest it will be a few months down the road. Any time I purchase new cigars online I prefer to leave them in my humidor for at least a few weeks to make sure they are properly humidified, as their time travelling with the United State’s Postal Service can be less than ideal.
Take it from a sadist, when sampling torture, it’s never good to rush!
- insert kudos and a “shout out” to ProfCedar who posted about the cigars at FetLife ↩