- Blogging from A to Z Challenge
- “A” is for Acousticophile
- “B” is for Bastinado
- “C” is for Cuckold
- “D” is for Dacryphilia
- “E” is for Edging and Orgasm Control
- “F” is for Frottage
- “G” is for Gang Bangs and Group Sex
- “H” is for Hotel
- “I” is for Inspiration and Influences
- “J” is for the Joy of Kink
- “K” is for Klismaphilia
- “L” is for Limits
- “M” is for Masochist
- “N” is for No Surprises
- “O” is for Outlaw No More
- “P” is for Public Apology
- “Q” is for Queer
- “R” is for Romance
- “S” is for Samadhi – Michael Samadhi
- “T” is for Trust
- “U” is for Unction
- “V” is for Victory
- “X” is for Xenophilia
- “Y” is for Yesterday
- “Z” is for Zelophilia
Today’s post is a twofer.
Through a serendipitous coincidence, the letter “H” in the Blogging from A to Z April Challenge happened to come up on the same day as Wicked Wednesday’s prompt for “Hotel”.
I do believe that sometimes things happen in our lives for a reason. I mean, who would I be to ignore the fact that the Universe has brought these two unrelated occurrences together at the same time?
Certainly, I could have written about handkerchief codes, harems, hermaphrodites, homophobia, hot wax, humiliation, hypnosis, or any of a dozen other forms of kink that start with an “h”.
But, when I think about it, hotels is as good a topic as any other for the letter. It’s a topic Serafina and I have explored more than just a little over the last 18 months.
Yes indeed, “H” really is for hotel!
For our purposes, for Serafina and I, a hotel room means two things. The first is a new place to shoot pictures. When we visit other places and stay overnight, I look for historic hotels, places with history and character. Those kind of locations almost always make for great atmosphere for both pictures and play.
If possible, I also like to get a “Jacuzzi room”. After a long day of driving, it’s good to soak in a hot tub of water with a jet pulsating against my back. Not to mention the fact that a hot tub is a great way to “break the ice” and get things started.
I’ve heard it said that the the phrase, “Let’s all get naked and get in the Jacuzzi,” is actually the mating call of the subspecies Homo sapiens libro1. That might very well be true, just as the phrase “I am soooo drunk” is the mating call of the college sorority girl.
Which serves as a segue into the other reason to grab a hotel room for a night – the adventure! It’s all about the potential play. While Serafina and I do occasionally get a room for ourselves, it’s a rare indulgence. We’ve very much enjoyed a visit to the Hotel Blackhawk in Davenport, and hope to return again soon.
There is a theme suite in Des Moines we also liked a lot. Having visited it in March for the High Protocol Dinner, we’ll return again in May when we are in Des Moines for Mischief in May. Instead of staying at the host hotel for Mischief in May, which isn’t attached to the venue anyway, we reserved the theme suite to use as a backdrop for personal pictures and play next month. We also enjoyed a stay at the Hotel Jullien in Dubuque, but we were joined in our only stay there by our friend Alpha.
In the end, that’s usually the biggest motivation for a hotel stay, to have a place to play with friends who can’t come visit us in our dungeon. For the longest time that meant our friends Dee and Gatekeeper. Obviously, Alpha has joined us for play in hotel rooms as well. Last summer and fall, for about a six month period, another friend Eva Kaye was added to that mix. She’s gone from my life, and even from FetLife now, but it should not be forgotten that our first two play encounters were in hotel rooms.
Bringing me to the downsides of hotel rooms, their lack of privacy. That’s a poignant reminder for me, because I rejected playing with Eva Kaye in hotel rooms after just two attempts, she was just too loud. An angry thump on the wall from the neighboring room takes on new meaning when BDSM play is happening. That thump is far more meaningful for BDSM play than if I were just having vanilla sex with my wife and got a little bit overzealous in expressing our passion.
BDSM hasn’t yet received the “Good Housekeeping Seal of Approval”, in fact it’s technically illegal in most parts of the world. Although people in the sports world are allowed to consent to violence against their person, the law has not yet recognized my play partner’s choice to submit to my whip, flogger, or cane.
So, in my case, as a sadist and dominant who often plays with impact toys, a visit from hotel management could be more than an embarrassing inconvenience. While a vanilla couple would probably escape with a great story to tell their friends, I’m a lot more likely to have serious consequences from such a visit. Cries for help2 and visible bruises are just the two most obvious ways I could end up in trouble. If things go too far wrong, I could end up in jail.
Worries about an encounter with law enforcement should never be at the forefront of my mind when getting kinky at a hotel, but it should never be totally outside of my consideration either. It’s always better to be safe than sorry.
In the end, a hotel room can be a great place to play and get kinky. For folks with children, it’s always an option to use as a get away, after all public dungeon spaces aren’t that common, and they aren’t always available when convenient, even if a person does live nearby. Hotels also provide location to meet friends who can’t travel to our home. Serafina and I don’t particularly care to play with people we wouldn’t invite to our home, but that’s yet another use for a hotel room. They make great places to meet for a casual encounter.
A new (but dear) friend, who I found out last night is a regular reader of my blog, uses hotel rooms for Craig’s List style encounters. She really gets off on the adrenaline rush, the excitement from the fear she gets going into such trysts. I can certainly understand that rush. I mean it sounds like fun, even if it’s not within my personal experience to have tried such an encounter.
I mean, I’m the guy who’s never had a one night stand. Not once. It used to be on my “bucket list”, but I’ve realized that a one night stand means it wasn’t good enough, that the person I fucked didn’t want to come back for more. I like to find a connection and build on it, sex and play Samadhi style gets better and better over time.
But, if I wanted to explore having a one night stand, it would undoubtedly be in a hotel. Here’s hoping they have hypo-allergenic rooms!