This entry is part 4 of 15 in the series 30 Days of Kink w/ Michael
  • How did you discover you were kinky?

While I think it’s true that some people have a special “ah-ha” moment where they discover their own personal kinky nature, it is pretty hard to go back to remember a time when I wasn’t kinky.  That’s true, if for no other reason, than it was so very long ago.

I’m really only 50 years old, but going back in time to a place before I knew I had twisted kinky desires is a pretty long trip.

We’d need to go back at least 38 years to find a time before I’d discovered my own kink.  Ironically, that’s the same number of years our new love Sinnja has been on the planet.

No doubt I was a precocious lad for my era, at age 13 I lost my virginity to the daughter of my mother’s best friend.  And, at that point I was already having fantasies that involved bondage and discipline.  So, to find that that first moment, to answer the question – How did you discover you were kinky? – we’ve got to go back to when I was 12 years old.

And let’s be honest, even before I turned 12 I was doing things that were more than a little out of the ordinary.  When playing “cowboys and indians” or “war” with the other neighbor kids, I wasn’t as interested in killing anyone as I was in taking captives.  I wanted prisoners!

If I could get way with it, I even wanted to tie their hands together. And not only did I desire prisoners, I wanted to keep them in captivity.

I wanted to stand guard over them.   I wanted to make them ask me permission for even the simplest of things, like a drink of water.   And, without a doubt, the worst part of my day was quitting time, as that was the time I had to release the prisoners I’d taken earlier in the day.

So, I suppose there was always an element of what now would be considered “kink” even in my childhood play.  But, to find the closest thing I have to an “ah-ha” moment where I can properly answer, “How did you discover you were kinky?”, we’d have to go back to something like early 1976.

Like losing my virginity, my first moment of kinky awareness came with a girl I had a crush on at the time, my mother’s best friend’s daughter.  Her name was Shelly, and it seemed we were thrown together a lot, being the children of friends who spent lots and lots of time socializing.

I remember it was a Saturday night, as Shelly and I were laying in her parent’s bed watching an episode of Saturday Night Live together.  Shelly’s father had an extensive collection of Playboy and Penthouse magazines, we often entertained ourselves looking through them, although we usually waited until the adults had a few drinks under their belts before starting that form of entertainment.

We liked to share pictures we enjoyed with each other as we paged through the magazines together.  Shelly had an awesome eye for great photos of women[ 2. I suppose I should not be at all surprised that she grew up to be a lesbian?] but this night she opened the magazine to a story, and asked me to read it.

At first I was a little perplexed and even off put.  I honestly thought the line about reading the articles in Playboy and Penthouse was a complete joke.  I was studying the pictures in my own magazine – for science – giving myself female anatomy lessons!  Who had time to read?

But Shelly was right, this particular story was really good.  It was the tale of a husband and wife who decided to spice up their sex lives with some bondage, and it ended with her essentially becoming his sex slave on weekends.  The story introduced all sorts of interesting ideas for future fantasy sessions.

I remember he created what would be the equivalent of sensory deprivation using a pillow case for a hood, cotton clothesline for bondage, and oven mitts as gloves to prevent her from using fingers to untie herself. If I remember correctly, the story also included his best friend joining the storyteller for some hot action with the bound and helpless wife on Saturday nights.

It was very hot stuff.  It was very impressive to an impressionable 12 year old.

At that moment I knew what I wanted!

I wanted to be THAT man.  I wanted to be the story teller.  More than anything in the world, at that moment, I wanted to have a woman I could control,  bind and tie, tease and torment.  I wanted to recreate everything in the story for myself, piece by piece, moment by moment.

That was my “ah-ha” moment, my time of realization.  Oh yes, like any young boy I wanted to experience sex.  I’d settle for vanilla sex if I had to.  But the flame had been kindled.

Still today, I am inescapably drawn to that same flame . . .

how did you discover you were kinky?

How-did-you-discover-you-were-kinky

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30 Days of Kink w/ Michael How did you discover you were kinky?
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