how's that workin' for ya?

How I Earned Her Submission

by | Jul 15, 2017 | Joy of Kink | 0 comments

opened the window and influenza

Woke up this morning laid low by what I am guessing is a flu virus.

I have all the classic flu symptoms: fever, headache, body aches, tight chest and dry cough.

I am not sparing you, my dear reader, any of the gory details.

So, I also should mention that it feels as though a bunch of garden gnomes had a wild party in my sinuses last night.

Needless to say, they didn’t clean up after themselves.

The fever and headache left me in some kind of quasi-delirium.

I decided that as a dominant I should simply command the virus into oblivion. Will it away.

At this point, Dr. Phil appeared in my visions.

And, the good doctor asked how that was workin’ for me!

I’m sure you already know the outcome.

In fact, you are probably laughing a little at my hubris.

I’m laughing a bit at myself, so really, it’s ok to have a chuckle at this Master’s expense.

Which leads me to the real point of this morning’s short essay . . .

common mistake

One big mistake many inexperienced would be dominants make is to assume that a submissive will submit to anyone who styles themselves to be some kind of dominant or Master. They read online about individuals who have a “slave heart.”

Then they make the mistake of thinking that means the slave will automatically succumb to any dominant who crosses their path.

Adding insult to the injury, when the self-styled dominant isn’t instantly obeyed, they often lash out.  In the classic example, the would be Dom ends up saying the person who wouldn’t obey them must be a bad submissive.  Or even no kind of submissive at all.

I’ve got a bit of news for this kind of so-called dominant.  Just because you will it to be done, just because you command it be done, that doesn’t necessarily make it so.


Most submissives will respond to a random dominant’s commands about as well as the virus that’s plaguing me.

If the self-styled Dom is lucky he’ll be ignored.  If he’s not, well then I’d expect that there very well be some laughing at his expense.

Submissives really are living breathing human beings with their own beautiful minds. They are not doormats.  Nor do they respond to commands like a robot.

If they are collared or otherwise in a relationship with a dominant, it could very well be seen as an act of disobedience or disrespect to their Master/Mistress.  If you owned a slave, how would you feel if they let some other person give them commands?

the real world

While the thought of having submissives throwing themselves at your feet might be attractive to the would be dominant, that’s just fantasy fodder.

In real life, we tend to appreciate things that require an effort to achieve, so I’m afraid life would be rather boring if it took no effort at all to engage somebody’s submission.

Things that come without effort are usually considered disposable.  I’ve never had a slave who was disposable to me.  That thought is quite foreign.

Any submissive I’ve ever had obeyed me far better than any other creature on this planet (especially your run of the mill flu virus.)

That obedience is not because I am some super dominant in her eyes, but because I have earned her respect.  Her trust.  Her love.

And ultimately, that’s how I earned her submission too.

This was originally published on August 29th, 2011 – at It was published under a different title – how’s that working for ya?. This post has been extensively edited for content and style here, at 

Joy of Kink How I Earned Her Submission
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