This entry is part 10 of 26 in the series Blogging from A to Z

The letter “I” could stand for a lot of different things within the concepts behind Joy of Kink from “A” to “Z”.

Ice play.
Ice Queen.
Identity.
Illegal Sex.
Imagination.
Immersion.
Impact Play
Incantation.
Impotence.
Incest.
Infantalism.
Infibulation.
Inebriation.
Inoculation.
Insect fetish.
Insex.com
Insufflation.
Interrogation.
Inunction.

For instance, an essay on “inuction” could include, not only a discussion of the fetish1, but also a discussion of the phenomena of Mazola® parties2

What?  You haven’t heard of a Mazola® party before?  Well, you’ll have to wait until at least next year to find out more, because this year “I” is for inspiration.

I don’t know that a discussion of the inspirations for my kinkiness is possible.  I really have no idea why I am the way that I am.  Frankly I’ve always been this way, it’s really the only way I know how to live.  I am who I am, and previous attempts to understand why, tend to be more than a little bit inscrutable in their result.

So, rather than have a discussion about me, or about my kink, I’d like to discuss the lovely sex bloggers who have inspired me to create the Joy of Kink.  My work has been influenced by a relatively small handful of people and sites, but each is important in their own way.

The Big Four

There are four sex bloggers who have been the primary inspiration for my own work . . .

Curvaceous Dee

Pansexual, polyamorous, and kinky, Curvaceous Dee is the moniker of an absolutely lovely writer (and exhibitionist) who hails from New Zealand, as well as a site’s name.  Far more than anyone else out there, Dee has been a key inspiration for all of my blogging efforts.  Dee is intelligent and witty, not to mention the fact that she’s a very kinky lady.  I adore intelligence and wit, always have and I always will.  I learn from Dee, especially the other blogger’s posts she features in Intriguing Reading.  I think there have been 78 posts in that ongoing series, they all have made me think.  I’m a (mostly) heterosexual male dominant, as such I come from a place of privilege.  The diversity of Dee’s friends pansexual offerings, if nothing else, help to remind me of the wonderful diversity that make up our community, and usually do far more for me than that.  The mind is our biggest sex organ, and I know Dee understands that.  She’s also very brave, her exhibitionist exploits are a very real inspiration to Serafina.  She’s the organizer of the Scavenger Hunt which Serafina and I recently started taking part in, what great fun it is!  Although I’ve never told her so, I’ve got a long distance crush on Dee, I have for a long time.

Molly’s Daily Kiss

Molly is the Queen of sex bloggers.  OK, I don’t know that’s a universally accepted fact, I haven’t seen her crowned as such.  I’m sure there are others who might claim the title.  I mean it certainly could be argued that the “Queen of all Sex Bloggers” is Violet Blue.  But to me, Ms Blue blogs about sex rather than being a sex blogger.   Molly’s Daily Kiss is the epitome of what sex blogging is about today in the year 2014, and for that I give Molly her title.  At least that’s how she’s thought of here in my household.  Molly may be a submissive, but she’s also a natural born leader, and that shows (very much) in the great success of Sinful Sunday.  That meme is easily the most popular and successful one of it’s kind in the world of kinky sex bloggers.  Molly’s Pussy Pride Project is another place where her organizing and leadership skills show.  Her photography skills are also outstanding, and the makeover her site just got is visually stunning, a beautiful look and design.  She’s a beautiful woman too.  Don’t let all the skills fool you, she is definitely a sexy sex blogger. . . What a lady!  Perhaps I don’t have the long term crush on Molly that I have had on Dee, but being newer doesn’t make it any less true.

Rebel’s Notes

Marie Rebel is certainly sex blogger royalty, no doubt about that.  I think of Marie as being something akin to Molly’s sister – that would make her Princess Marie Rebel!  Like Molly’s site, Rebel’s Notes is truly the epitome of what sex blogging in 2014 is all about.  I guess the association in my mind is made stronger by the fact that Molly and Marie are real life friends.  I’ve seen posts of them traipsing about the countryside together, collecting scavenger hunt locations as they go, and can’t help imagining what fun it must have been to be the photographer!  Ms Rebel has great organizing skills too, she’s the host of Wicked Wednesday, another one of my favorite internet memes.  And, she’s yet another beautiful submissive lady blogger.  Now, if I say that I have a bit of a crush on Marie, I’m going to sound like some hopeless headcase, but I have to say this at the very least, she’s a sexy lady who’s more than worthy too.

Kink and Poly

I’m going to start sounding like a broken record here.  Everything I’ve said so far about other outstanding sex bloggers is true also about Jade Melisande, the author of Kink and Poly.  Jade is sexy, very sexy.  Her blog is, like Rebel’s Notes and Molly’s Daily Kiss, everything I could imagine a sex blog should be.  She’s exhibitionistic, intelligent, and she writes great erotica (which is also true of everyone who has preceded her, lest I be remiss in mentioning that.)  Did I mention that she’s sexy?  Oh, ya I did.  The other thing I should mention is that she’s also the first blogger on the list who resides on the same continent.  And, she really only lives a few hours drive away.  I’m guessing our paths will cross someday, at Twisted Tryst, Kinky Kollege, MadtownKinkfest, or maybe something in her home town.  I lived there myself as a community organizer back in 1990, and have to say I never met anyone like Jade.  It’d be great to share a meal, meet her guys.  Maybe even find a way to do a joint Scavenger Hunt or two with Jade and Serafina, tie them to each other or something!  I should also mention that Jade hosts another popular meme – Kink of the Week.

Plus Two

Two other bloggers have been significant influences, even if it’s not as openly apparent.  I’m still working to find the “voice” I want in writing reviews, but it’s still a goal of mine.

Dangerous Lily

The sex toy reviewer’s sex toy reviewer.  Lily’s blog – Dangerous Lily – has always been my greatest inspiration to write sex toy reviews.  She’s incredibly informed and proactive when it comes to the safety of sex toys. Her no nonsense reviews, and outstanding advice for fellow bloggers is greatly appreciated.  It seems like often, she’s just a step ahead of me.  I’ll have an idea for a great blog post, only to do a quick google search and discover that Lily already had the idea, and wrote the definitive blog post about it.

Hey Epiphora

The queen of sex toy reviewers.  Hey Epiphora is THE classic sex toy review site.  Doing reviews of BDSM tools and sex toys is always a part of my inspiration in creating a blog, but writing the reviews is not so easy for me.  I tip my cap to sex toy reviewers like Lily and Epiphora, it’s a tougher job to do right than you might think.

 Honorable Mentions

There are a couple of sites that are still in existence that deserve mention, even if they don’t rise up to the level of the “Big Six”.

bondage blog

In terms of original content, Bondage Blog is by far the weakest of all the blogs I consider to be among the inspirations for the creation of the Joy of Kink.  It’s really little more than a collection of items that have been found elsewhere on the web, and are then re-posted to Bondage Blog.  I rarely visit there anymore, the blog has little to offer me today.  But, ten or twelve years ago, that was a different story.  Bondage blog was the first kink blog I ever found, it led me to dozens of other sites.  It earns it’s place on the list only because it was the very first kinky blog I ever found.  In fact it was probably the first blog I ever actually read.

No Need to be Coy

Run by yet another lovely lady blogger, Coy Pink, No Need to be Coy has a special place in my heart for a very unique reason.  Ms Pink bears a striking resemblance to a lady who was a former love interest of mine back in the 1990’s.  Several years ago, back in 2008, after finding coypink.com, the resemblance between the Coy Pink and my friend led me to look the friend up again, after being out of contact for the better part of a decade.  We are fast friends again, I’m even helping to edit her novel.  While the relationship we once had is well beyond being rekindled, the mutual respect and love we once shared still endures.  Besides Serafina, she is currently the other woman to whom I sign letters to with the word love.  No Need to be Coy earns an honorable mention for rekindling my friendship.

 your blog

I could probably list a dozen others, but the word count for this post will exceed 1800 now before it’s all said and done.  Examples include You Won’t Tame This Sassy Cat, Malflic, Just Like Heaven, Kinky Mia, Dragon’s Kink, Beck and Her Kinks, and ALY- an aspiring and evolving Buddhist slave girl, among others, but there are many more.  I’m nothing, after all if I’m not verbose, and I do love to read, perhaps even more than write.  If you have commented here, and/or I’ve commented on your blog, than you’ve probably had an influence.  The community of sex bloggers is a wonderful place, I’ve made many new online friends in the past few months, and I look forward to making many more.

Finally- the Conclusion – “I” is for Inspiration and Influences

Hopefully, the individuals who have influenced and inspired my blogging efforts will understand that I really wish I  had the time and room to write even more wonderful things about you.

For all the named blogs, as well as the newer discoveries who are not named (at least not this year – I hope to Blog from A-Z in April every year) I thank you all, each and every one of you, for enriching my life.

I

  1. the term inuction refers to those who have their body lathered up or rubbed with oil and then slide against a partner
  2. I read my writing aloud to Serafina as part of my proofreading process.  I just learned that my sweet slave/wife would enjoy a slippery hot oil party with friends.
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Blogging from A to Z Challenge “I” is for Inspiration and Influences
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