- Nervous? – Wicked Wednesday #87
- Decisions? They Are Mine!
- The First Time Serafina Was Shared
- Balancing Pain And Pleasure
- I got a prayer with a girl . . .
- Hidden Problems
- Communicate and Educate
- Alone Together Again
- Energy Antennae
- “S” is for Safe Sex
- My Leather Family Comes Full Circle
- There Once Was a Chance I Didn’t Take
- Beyond Considering Sinnja
- Slippery Slopes and Trigger Warnings
- Jealousy – the Green Eyed Monster
- YKINMK – Your Kink Is Not My Kink (and that’s ok)
- Charlotte! (Rhymes with Harlot)
- What Do You Doubt?
- If Orange is the New Black Then Black is the New White
- Sending Smoke Signals
- The difficult truth!
I met Serafina back in 2002. We hit it off immediately. Sparks flew. From the very first, the chemistry between us was perfect.
At the time, I was married to a gorgeous lady named BlissfulTorment. I’d been together with Bliss for about a dozen years at that point. As well as being my wife, Blissy was also my submissive. Bliss and I had been poly for almost our entire relationship, but personality and circumstance had always conspired to keep me from my dream of having a poly leather family.
Not long after we met Serafina, she was invited to join our leather family, to form a BDSM triad with the name Samadhi. It seemed there was no denying that the hand of fate had brought us together.
– – – – –
Circumstance denied me that apparent opportunity. Fate wasn’t as kind as we’d all assumed she would be.
As an increasing amount of care-giving responsibilities crept into our lives due to a sick relative. Bliss became less and less enamored of our potential future together. The passing of Blissy’s 30th birthday seemed to set off a sense of her own mortality. As the milestone came and went, it made her realize that the fulfillment of her own dreams was slowly fading away under a barrage of my Mother’s doctor appointments and hospital visits.
Eventually Bliss left. Serafina and I were left alone. Suffice it to say that the ensuing breakup wasn’t pretty either.
I’d endeavored to always make parting ways with past lovers a conciliatory thing. I don’t like burning bridges behind me to begin with, and if I’ve loved someone it’s pretty difficult to get me to the point where I’d wish them ill. Blissy decided to go with a scorched earth policy, it wasn’t just bridges that were burnt, it seemed that everything came out of the breakup in cinders.
Most of all, Serafina felt burnt.
Oh, please do not misunderstand, Serafina was overjoyed to be able to partner with me and become my wife. But, she felt very burned by the triad concept. For the first time in her life she’d opened herself up to the possibilities of love and pleasure with another woman. She had opened her heart only to have the women she was learning to love call her whore and homewrecker.
Serafina was devastated. The pain was so great, she doubted that her heart could ever be open again to such an arrangement. The breakup was so traumatic, Serafina was terribly afraid that to try again could cause our own relationship harm. She vowed to never take those kinds of risks with her heart again.
It seemed my dream had burnt to the ground.
– – – – –
I met Sinnja in 2013. We hit it off immediately. Sparks flew. From the very first, the chemistry between us was perfect.
At the time, I was married to a gorgeous lady named Serafina. I’d been together with Serafina for about a dozen years at that point. As well as being my wife, Serafina was also my submissive.
Not long after we met Sinnja, she was invited to join our leather family, with the intent that we would form a BDSM triad with the name Samadhi. It seemed there was no denying that the hand of fate had brought us together.
Perhaps the story sounds familiar?
On the surface, everything looks pretty similar. Well it is, and it isn’t.
– – – – –
I’ve learned a lot in the last dozen years, I’ve grown and matured dramatically. I’m still the same Michael Samadhi that Serafina met for the first time in O’Hare Airport as I picked her up from her flight here from Canada, but a lot of the rough edges are gone. I’ve been refined by the crucible of life.
Serafina, like a fine wine, has also improved with age. The innocent girl who didn’t really know what BDSM meant is now an “elder” in the community. Almost every day she gets an email, or a note at FetLife, from newbies wanting to know more about BDSM or poly.
My life has changed too. I no longer work in politics so I don’t feel much need to hide who I am or what I do. Serafina was introduced to everyone as our friend who was going through a tough divorce, we were portrayed as giving her support and comfort during that difficult time.
If necessary, would could present our relationship with Sinnja in the same light. But, with one or two minor exceptions, I simply don’t feel the need. What I do in my bedroom is my own business, I don’t feel the need to flaunt my sexual preferences before strangers, but I’m not going to hide who I am anymore either.
The other day when Sinnja came to visit, I was in the front yard practicing with my bullwhip when she arrived. We all hugged and kissed without regard for the potential prying eyes of my neighbors. If kissing a woman who’s not my wife on my own front lawn perhaps might shock the neighbors, I’m not going to give it much worry. If an obviously passionate extended hug between Sinnja and Serafina offends anyone’s sensibilities, they do have the option not to look, ya know . . .
Fate’s always an unknown, and it’s usually easier to see a clear path for others than it is our own. But, I’d like to think I’ll get it right this time. I’d like to think I’ve more come more than full circle.