Serafina Samadhi’s Journey
THIS IS A WORK IN CONTINUAL PROCESS AND PROGRESS AND MAY CHANGE
Testing boundaries has lead me on a very fascinating journey. Some parts of this journey can be extraordinarily difficult and confusing. I earnestly seek to avoid those parts, wanting to embrace only the enjoyable and wonderful experiences. Unless the wonderful is tested, . . then it is a rental agreement, rather than the ownership contract. And so I am compelled to stretch the borders of understanding. The amazing thing is how much more there is than what I think that I know.
Many people refuse to make choices and are never able to become responsible to themselves, and they also adhere religiously and tenaciously to very entrenched concepts, which become their boundaries of existence. Their need for security is so great that they dare not question boundaries that exist – only in their mind, of course. Because, if indeed they are moved, it upsets their entire paradigm.
So much more!
I am the author of many photos here and at Spiritual BDSM. I have long been a free-lance photographer. In High School I had the privilege of working in a darkroom, and was known as the school photo techie. I enjoyed every aspect from winding cartridges to reload them from bulk film to processing to the most fun part of printing and manual manipulation.
My work was printed in the annual yearbooks and local weeklies and whenever I cared to enter some teen mags I quite often placed. But, because I married early to escape a bitter living situation from my parent’s home and settled into fulfilling domestic lifestyle that was not conducive to continue or to promote further adventures in photo arts for over 20 years. Miraculously, I met a lady who became a close friend and mentor and encouraged me to re-open the creative doors that had been closed tight for so long and I joined the Abbotsford Photo Arts Association (APPA) for 6 years until my friend moved to the Island.
Because of life getting in the way . . it got pushed aside again. I didn’t lose interest. . .I lost momentum. . .and by the time I returned now. . .the darkrooms had all but vanished and digital was still in early and somewhat unpredictable form. . . so I continued to dabble here and there. I knew also by now that computers and software would be the death-knell for the darkroom.
While with the APAA we had bi monthly competitions and I frequently earned a coveted place with my entries. We also had a number of member workshops taught “famous” professionals who shared their skills.
I have had some opportunities to use my skills for several conventional weddings. I was invited to photograph a very Traditional First Nations wedding ceremony, with the attendees in full traditional regalia. Today I continue to capture and and strive to personally be the best I can become. I guess in the end that’s all we can be. As an artist, photography is a medium and tool, among canvas, paint, and brushes. With those tools I try and capture something that inspires and motivates others to find beauty and form in the ashes of life.
I should also probably mention that Master and I are almost always together so we combine our efforts. . .sometimes I see the shot and he takes it. . especially ones like this, because I have a tremor in my hands and even vibration reduction can not always make up for that. Even if Master and I met originally in an unusual way, it has and is the best thing that ever happened to me. I have had this adventure now for close to 8 years, and since then Master has shown me that I am truly a submissive, I am bound to him as a love-slave, and although we may not be perfect, we do live as much as possible 24/7.
Sometimes The Creator closes a door but then there is an open window. . . maybe a new opportunity, . . and hopefully healing and solace. Michael is my tower of strength. I am deeply committed to him, Thank-you Michael.
Buy the truth. . . and do not sell it (short) “No man can know YAHWEH and live so long to be able to comprehend it all” (the Scriptures)
Serafina Samadhi’s PERSONAL JOURNEY INTO BDSM
I had heard of BDSM. It didn’t scare me, nor did it appeal to me. It was just, well there – in the cartoons or the odd penthouse letter. Not that I read a lot of them, but my first husband had bought a number of them for himself, as he enjoyed masturbating to them and preferred that over me. So porn was not that tempting for me. Over the years I had been trying to do anything to have him notice me and engage me, so I scoured the libraries and bookstores for help and found a vast array of Tantra that very much appealed to me.
MEETING OF MASTER MICHAEL
I was heading up an on-line self-help discussion board dedicated to those many of us who suffer pains, and untreatable conditions of life maladies hoping to find camaraderie, and to pass tips and ways of coping. When Michael discovered the site and began to participate I was elated because he was a brilliant writer. It was easy to see that he was a learned man, and he research any topic before he wrote on it. We had a community chat-room and I would chit chat with various members.
One day Michael was on and he and another member began a discussion and I discovered that Michael had a lot of knowledge on Tantra and said he was Tantric. Now I was keenly interested and began asking questions. I discovered he was married, and so was I so I knew romance was not going to happen, but I was happy to add a knowledgeable friend. With time I discovered that Michael and his wife were poly-amory which was a new term to me. After a series of very interesting and sensuous discussions, and foraging a friendship his wife was going to come and visit me. I was elated and they invited me to come play with them. While Blissful Torment was visiting she took the lead in activities after dark.
My daughter had had many sleep-overs and I had no qualms about sliding under the cover of the davenport bed in the living-room long after the household had gone to sleep as we sat and chatted late into the dark. Here however the conversation ceases and she whispered into my ear “have you ever known a woman’s kiss?. . Let me show you. . “ the next day she informed me that they were prepared to pay for expenses to have me visit them and that she and Michael had thoroughly discussed it and that they were going divorce so that Michael could marry me to make it more convenient and legal for me to remain with them. I was so impressed and honored to be treated with such favor.
Michael made it very clear that my spouse had to know the nature of the visit. I informed my husband about the invitation and told him it might involve sex. He didn’t care if I traveled if someone else paid the way, and he thought I was kidding about the sex. I told him I was not, but he was sure. He later revolted when I told him the details including the sex. I already had lived in a relationship that had died many years ago, and I had a feeling that life was about to turn a page and reveal a new chapter for me.
Journey down the BDSM pathway
I, Serafina Samadhi have now begun in earnest to discover what this BDSM is all about and explore it with Master Michael foraging the way and he begins to open the doors of discovery for me. I am excited and scared all at the same time. Sometimes that sends me into a panic and because I become very self aware which embarrasses me: causes me to “dig in”. Unfortunately, everyone has their issues. Master has been accused of weirdness and aggressive even, too many times in his lifetime Therefore when I “dig in” it has a profound effect of discouraging him.
I have no desire to shut down BDSM nor what it means to our relationship. I am submissive by nature, but I have also been “in charge” for a very long time. I have a deep need to understand reasons for doing things. It is very difficult for me to just do something I am told without knowing why. So it has been an interesting journey so far in which I have discovered things within myself. Some things I am happy and glad to do easily. But it is also enabling me to see that I have yet still much to relearn. Some things appear that make me cringe and I would rather not face them . If all I thought of was myself, I am convinced I could hide my insecurities from all and never have to deal with my “stuff”..
I am learning a lot and becoming a better person for it. The most thrilling words I hear from Master is “good-girl” and that he is getting his “mojo” back and he is feeling his domination when he plays with me. I know that this can stress Master Michael to push through with my many, and odd and entirely unexpected events that just sneak up on one. It can play on his own issues of insecurities brought on by former close associations of his past, and can bring on feeling of defeat . One moment Master marvels at how easily I engage him under a golden shower which is spontaneous and then “act out” when he makes a simple request to imitate something playing out on our screen. It always takes me completely by surprise when it does happen.
THE JOURNEY CONTINUES
I could simply trust and do everything he asks of me. I also wish I could do that naturally. I really am discovering things about me that I think are pretty neat after all, because Master Michael points out my good qualities readily. Only a year to more ago I might not have been able to tell anyone what I might or might not consider. Any of these may or might not change over time, I can not say. This is not listed in any particular order.
> I do feel very strongly against what I term impersonal sex. I do not want to be fucked with a machine or with a dick on a stick. The first says I am to lazy or bored to play but I’ll fix ya with this!! The second says you are too revolting to get near to -so here. . I’ll poke you with a ten-foot-pole!!
>It may not be necessary to rescue that damsel in distress because she is OK with it. There is a realistic chance that the damsel signed up and is willing because she knows the pay-out is good. and/or she said in the interview that she likes it.
> I have a lot of self-preservationist pride. However, I am determined to pull down my self-reliant defenses. I do understand that trusting Master is safe, and no one has yet died of embarrassment. (God help me!)
> I love thudey floggers! I also enjoy the variety of floggers, whips, paddles, and canes even, and how skilled Master is at wielding them. I am even learning to accept and enjoy some stronger sensations.
>Not a new lesson but one that is refreshed at every turn.. The more I learn, the more I become aware of how little I really know. What I once knew I am not always so sure of. What I once was very confident of doesn’t seem so secure at times.
Serafina Samadhi Collared!
Master Michael Samadhi and Serafina were married on the banks of the Mississippi River on July 10 of 2010. About a year later Master collared Serafina with a permanent collar of twisted steel cable and was collared again in a formal collaring ceremony which you can read on The Joy of Kink.
Random Facts about Serafina Samadhi
I am the eldest of 5 girls, 1 boy born into a strict Amish-type Mennonite family. Girls were forced to wear dresses and not allowed to participate in school sports much.
None of my siblings are internet savvy to this day, but I self taught PC security and many things pertaining to maintaining a smooth and safe computing.
When I began school I only spoke German, and was very isolated because of the language barrier. I also was transferred to 3 different schools in the first grade because the school district could not decide which district to assign us to.
By the time I was turning 6 I was helping my mom in the kitchen, and garden, and hanging laundry to dry on a line outdoors. I also had my very own garden plot. Mom would give us whatever I wanted to plant, but the condition was it had to be kept weeded. I loved playing “market Garden” where we would “sell” our fresh produce of green beans, carrots, peas, etc which we had produced on our own with my siblings. By 7 years of age I was steering a small case tractor while my dad picked up and piled hay-bales on a sled.
I was milking 2 cows every evening by the time I was 10. And, gathering eggs was the easy part. Mucking barns was hard work as was mowing about 3 acres with a gas push mower. By 13 I was driving a duel-wheel Versatile Pivoting tractor with more than 3 implements in tow from 6AM till 10 PM.
I spent 3 years in a darkroom and had the luxury of a 35mm camera at my disposal in High school, I did all the photography for the school year-book during those years. I loved every minute of that.
I was also a budding artist. Lack of supplies caused me to get creative. I made paintings coloring them with 62 wax crayons I’d got for Christmas and I melted the wax off with a hot iron so the colors were embedded to the paper.
During high school I had to fight hard to remain in school because children were expected to earn a living to contribute to the family income by the time they reached 15. With the help of teachers I managed to stay in school and graduated with a full diploma in 1972.
I learned to play the brass trumpet in High-school, I also learned to play a six-string guitar on my own. I tried to play it as a steel guitar for a while. At the age of 42 I began lessons on a 5-pc drum-kit, and discovered that my rhythm had been ruthlessly shut down when my mom couldn’t stand my incessant drumming patterns.
I married before I turned 20, but I waited until I was 23 before starting a family. I had 4 children deliberately spaced across 4 decades from 1078 to 1991. My first born was killed by a drinking young person who was convicted but never suffered a single consequence. My ex of 37 years alienated all the other children after that. They still have nothing to do with me after 12 years because they believe I am evil.
I have raised sheep, goats, chickens, turkeys, rabbits for meat and mini bunnies for pets. I also bred and raised Red Factor show canaries. I won third place one year and second another in the association I belonged to. I kept honeybees for 5 years. I butchered my own chickens.
I co-pastored a youth group for 5 years. I no longer attend church. I have strong spiritual convictions, I am fascinated by Ancient Aliens, and Quantum Physics. I am a second level Reiki.
I planned and built a playhouse for my children that would be a cute shed after they were finished with it.
I have entertained over 50 kids at once as a pizza party for which I made 39 pizzas and bought 29 more frozen one held back in reserve in case what I made was not enough. I followed that by a spaghetti dinner another time that same summer. They were mostly street kids and generally shunned by adults, but they were all kids who knew my son before he was mowed down.
I attended Seattle’s Hemp-fest in 2002, and 2003 and had a blast!
I volunteered at the Kwantlan (Salish Nation) Pow-Wows for 4 years and was “adopted” by them which is a great honor. I also have had the privilege of sitting in a sweat lodge and learning culture of the First Nations (Native Indians) for those not from Canada.
I have immigrated from Canada to the Midwest, USA. I love to travel and see new places. I have never been over-seas. I have been as far north to Peace River in northern Alberta, lived on the West Coast Vancouver, BC for over 20 years and been as far east as Ottawa. There are many more places in North America I want to experience. I love RV-ing.
I fell in love with an American Man!! I am married to Master Michael Samadhi who is my Soul mate. I am his submissive love slave. There is nothing I would not consider for Master Michael.
I create and teach Faberge Eggs. I am building a Miniature Dollhouse which will have BDSM furniture and activities at some point.
I am somewhat dyslexic as I have trouble with sequenced verbal lists and I have to seriously think about which way is left.
I have chronic allergies, and fibromyalgia. I was a member of a medical cannabis group and had a Dr’s permit. I would rather use an herb or supplement before chemical drugs. I have never been drunk, but I have been tipsy
My favorite colors are blue, and black goes with everything.