- Blogging from A to Z Challenge
- “A” is for Acousticophile
- “B” is for Bastinado
- “C” is for Cuckold
- “D” is for Dacryphilia
- “E” is for Edging and Orgasm Control
- “F” is for Frottage
- “G” is for Gang Bangs and Group Sex
- “H” is for Hotel
- “I” is for Inspiration and Influences
- “J” is for the Joy of Kink
- “K” is for Klismaphilia
- “L” is for Limits
- “M” is for Masochist
- “N” is for No Surprises
- “O” is for Outlaw No More
- “P” is for Public Apology
- “Q” is for Queer
- “R” is for Romance
- “S” is for Samadhi – Michael Samadhi
- “T” is for Trust
- “U” is for Unction
- “V” is for Victory
- “X” is for Xenophilia
- “Y” is for Yesterday
- “Z” is for Zelophilia
There’s a personal matter I’ve been biting my tongue about.
The circumstances behind the incident, I felt, didn’t allow me to say anything.
I was biting my tongue out of respect for a friend’s relationship, as I didn’t feel calling her Master out for a consent violation would be healthy for their relationship.
Now that she’s been “uncollared”, I feel that the appropriate opportunity to say something is here and now. Here’s the comment I made publicly, on her wall at FetLife.
Uncollared? A good slave like you? Heresy! It’s heresy I tell you! Somebody ought to have their head examined, and I’m not talking you!
You are a great lady, I’m proud to call you friend, and even prouder that you were part of Serafina’s collaring ceremony. You are forever in our hearts, and I will always think of you as family.
Now, with all the good stuff said – there’s something else I must say – now that I can say it without interfering in your former relationship. It’s something I wanted to say, but felt I could not . . .
I regret not stepping in when I felt your consent was violated in my home, when your former Master broke his word to you and did activities you had privately agreed would not happen.
I didn’t fully understand what was happening at the moment, but a part of me wanted to stop everything to find out. That instinct was correct, and I will forever regret that I allowed your consent to be violated in my home through my own inaction.
I have learned a big lesson from the experience. It will never happen again.
You have my sincere apology, and my sincere regret for that happening. Saying so privately is not enough to atone for my mistake, I want to say this publicly. I put my respect for your relationship before my respect for you as a person, and that’s backwards. I was wrong to do so. But I assure you, I will guard carefully against it happening again.
I know that offering the apology is the proper things to do, and the only reason I hadn’t offered it earlier is that I didn’t wish to interfere in their relationship. After I let the consent violation pass, it didn’t seem prudent to compound the mistake by making my apology a sticking point in their relationship.
That instinct was probably correct. I got a call from her former Master today after posting the apology on FetLife. I suppose I should have expected the additional drama, even with making the apology after the relationship ended.
From my perspective, it doesn’t really matter if the note involved me in extra drama, or not. My bottom line is consent matters in my household, it matters a lot. Serafina is an erotic slave, but she’s a consensual erotic slave. In theory a slave gives up the right to say no. In reality, that means we dialogue instead of negotiate.
Serafina loves feeling owned, I love feeling like I own her, but that doesn’t mean I’ll ignore her feelings. And, I’d certainly never ignore her if she came to me and said, “Master, there’s a problem.”
I vow now, that I’ll never again ignore those words in my home, no matter who utters them!