Archives

Day 1: Serafina’s 30 Days of Kink

Dom, sub, switch?

This entry is part 1 of 14 in the series 30 Days of Kink w/ Serafina
  • Dom, sub, switch? What parts of BDSM interest you? Give us an interesting in-depth definition of what that means to you. Basically define your kinky self for us.

Submissive by nature.  Submission is a choice as much as it is my nature.  Submissives have certain vulnerabilities to want to be compliant, and to make the world a better place

There is an external reality that each person needs to be treated a certain way in order for the relationship to thrive.  When you spend a clear night under the stars, most would probably say they feel uplifted, serene, dignified and yet humble.

Submission with dignity comes in part from a consciousness of your place within reality. Slavery sets the standard that much higher.  For me, having dignity goes hand-in-hand with having humility. Humility, as CS Lewis famously said, is not thinking less of oneself but rather, thinking of oneself less.

I have dignity because I recognize that I have value to my Master, while not degrading myself except at rare times in the limited context of a scene. I do not need to be a doormat or trash in order to be a slave; quite to the contrary. By thinking of him more, and myself less, I demonstrate both humility and dignity.

serafina portrait of a slaveThe submissive has intrinsic value as a human being with needs and wants which must be considered if the relationship is to be healthy and lasting: I need to feel loved, desired, cherished, safe and protected.

To be an insatiable craving for him. To be controlled, dominated, used for his pleasure. To be praised when deserved, corrected when needed. To belong to him and to always feel totally and completely owned. To be allowed to express my feelings of devotion and love for him.

Master Michael is the source of those needs. He is a person and needs to be attached to for who they are, not for what they bring to the table. I want to serve him, to give him my everything, and to have him offer me the protection for the soft, fragile or Dyslexic sides of me that I want to share with him.

I need to be pushed to be more, better, to reach for more inside myself to give. I need to be controlled, not totally because I do need some independence. I need to be able to make my Master my World, as much as I need to be His.

I need to accept that I am worthy of his attention and love. I need him to take me out of my head when I think too much and over analyze. I need to feel his Dominance and his strength and protection

Day 2: Serafina’s 30 Days of Kink

List your kinks.

icon - pony play
This entry is part 2 of 14 in the series 30 Days of Kink w/ Serafina

Listing kinks is more difficult for me than telling about the ones I have tried and enjoyed so I will go with that.

We live a 24/7  master/slave  lifestyle.   The dominant is always the dominant and in charge.

Master always gives me unconditional love, trust, and respect.  I live and give my best to honor him.  This means that I sometimes

I wear a collar that is as important -as a wedding ring  And sometimes I wear a leather one for  play.

I enjoy wearing and sleeping with cuffs- Wrist and leg

Like many I also enjoy hair pulling, multiple orgasms, and orgasm edging,

Although I am not a heavy masochist I do enjoy flogging , single tail, caning, spanking, bondage, especially rope.  I love the act of being tied up and untied too.

I enjoy role-play and play punishment .

Candle wax blindfolds, mummification with wraps, restraints, and vacuum beds etc. electrotorture, toys. vibrators, dildos, and even mutual masturbation.serafina-serves

 

 Other Kinks I enjoy

sex during thunderstorms

the sound of rain on a tent roof

I very much peacock for erotic photography.  Of course it means I also enjoy corset training, dressing-up high heels  garter belt and stockings, and lingerie.

I very much enjoy also Belly  dance, and burlesque and of course the  costumes

Shopping for pantyhose, underwear and sexy bras, sexy clothes from a thrift store for cutting away with very sharp, dangerous, daggers, knives, machetes, and swords

male service/domestic submissives/slaves (receiving),  It would be nice to be served too, giggles!

massages — Who wouldn’t?  I seem to do them for everyone getting very few in return

voyeurism,  Peeking into what others do is hot!

Day 3: Serafina’s 30 Days of Kink

How did you discover you were kinky?

This entry is part 3 of 14 in the series 30 Days of Kink w/ Serafina

How did you discover you were kinky? DSCN2538

I suppose there is latent or otherwise a kinky side in everyone.

I was no different.

I certainly had imaginary encounters with fictional characters or infatuations of real people.

I don’t think one awakes one day and realizes they are kinky.

I think it gradually dawns on folks.

I know it has with me.

I am aware that it is still dawning in a way.

Nearly every day there is a kink nuance to explore or discover. I have only admitted to being kinky in the past 12 years and that is a credit to the the man I proudly call Master today.

Master Michael is a true Dominant and Leader in that he wants what suits him, but he also wants to push for the very best person I could ever choose to be for him. He has opened doors to me that I could never have given myself permission for.

This in turn has developed increasing trust and respect that continues to grow and be tested.

How did you discover YOUR kink?

Day 4: Serafina’s 30 Days of Kink

Any early experiences that, in retrospect, hint at your kinks?

This entry is part 4 of 14 in the series 30 Days of Kink w/ Serafina

Early experiences that, in retrospect, hint at your kinks

 

Early experiences were there but not recognized  till later in life by myself.

serafina-spanked I have always been sexual from as far back as I can remember – about the age of 3 my mother laid me down for a nap with my sister the new baby was already sleeping.  It was a hot summer day, no central air- heck! no air conditioning even considered in our Saskatchewan farm house.

I had on a little cotton petticoat no knickers.  I was laying with one leg under the quilt, and one over.  I noticed the silky soft feeling between mt legs if I moved my body just so.  It felt so nice  and all at once I felt this delightful “tickle” that made me shiver.

I tried to find that tickle again, but it was not to be found again that day.  I remember trying on consecutive days to recreate that lovely tickle, but I honestly can not remember if I was successful.  It only occurred to me about the time I hit 50 that I’d actually had an orgasm.

AS I continued to grow and work and do chores  on the farm I would always wear skirts- by an enforced tradition in my parents home, and summers were often bare-bottomed while at home.  We raised geese, turkeys and chickens by incubating fertile eggs and goslings are one of the most favorite of mine.  They imprint on the first thing that they see moving right at the time of hatching.  In our case it is humans.

I found it great satisfaction to lead the goslings from an enclosed pen into the grass to let the graze.  They love to snuggle and they crawl all over my lap when I sat down and they nibble- tasting everything.  The bills of a young gosling is rubbery and soft.  Unlike their adult beaks which are strong, hard and powerful with razor edge.  They can pack a wallop of a bite leaving amazing bruises that last for weeks.

That is when a sly idea was born- I wondered what those soft rubbery beaks might feel like on my pussy lips.  hummm!  Well they weren’t  green and they didn’t seem edible to them so it was difficult to get them interested.  But their soft down was feeling just fine.  I do remember one of them taking a little nibble and it was delightful.

all this in the middle of an afternoon in the exposed farm-yard, but no one ever discovered my little secret.  I was very aware of being sexual even if I never associated being sexual with being Kinky- but I suppose it was.

Day 5: Serafina’s 30 Days of Kink

What was your introduction to Kinky sexual experience?

This entry is part 5 of 14 in the series 30 Days of Kink w/ Serafina

What was your first kinky sexual experience?

Serafina-and-Sinnja---beyond-consideration--vingnette

A moment with Sinnja- right after receiving her new collar from Master Michael and myself

My first actual introduction to Kink was in the home of Master Michael and his now former wife.  I was invited for a visit after numbers of sexy chats to visit them. It was learned that I was considering divorce as well.  They invited me and my son to come and join- and live with them.

The concept was not strange to me- I had lived in community before and I knew at least most of the possible downsides by then, so I was quite willing.  Only this time all the adults would be having sex.   That part was very new to me.  I wasn’t sure what to anticipate there-

All I knew was that I was very interested because there was little sex in the marriage I was coming from.  Here, from what I understood I would be free to explore anything I could ever dream of.

Before this I had never considered playing with another woman, and although I wasn’t familiar myself, I was not opposed to that either.  I am aware that now upon reflecting that I did not respond to some of the overtures she made because I did not recognize them as such.

And, I have come a long way since then.  I still have a lot more to explore and discover as well.

Day 6: Serafina’s 30 Days of Kink

Describe your weirdest/most interesting sexual fantasy.

This entry is part 6 of 14 in the series 30 Days of Kink w/ Serafina

The weirdest/most interesting sexual fantasy.

DSCN2666I have never been accused of having too many sexual fantasies!  In fact I am sorry to say my imagination doesn’t swing that way.  However I am able to think of some scenes that are interesting and could be fun.

I enjoy role-play.  If I am in an open for anything mood I am quite flexible in becoming whatever is happening. On the flip side I am also in general quite shy and inhibited even.  I have learned to overcome my shyness most of the time.

Most of the time I still need to be prompted.  I guess that is my submissive nature to want to be instructed.  If I did list a fantasy it would likely happen out-doors or some form of exhibitionism.  I have nervously flashed truckers as we drive by. and once I was sent in to a pizza joint wearing only the thinnest silk top that revealed everything delicious.  I secretly hoped they wouldn’t notice but the guy played yo-yo with the change as I paid for the pie we’d ordered, I knew full well they were playing the game!   It was scary, but it was fun.

Seems like outdoors is so much more potential of being discovered which is exciting and demands a lot of adrenaline.  I am not sure if this qualifies as a fantasy or not.  There are other risks involved- if one offends the wrong person the authorities might be called.

One fantasy I have that will likely never be achieved is learning and doing burlesque.  I love the glittery costumes and the playful theater.  Same goes for Belly Dance-  I have even taken some lessons and it seem it is the struggle against the years and unco-operative joints.  So, while I can practice some “moves” it will not be a reality.  Fortunately I am also a drummer and I can drum for  hours in a drum circle.  There I can appreciate the talents of young, lithe, able-bodied dancers and fire players, and hula dancers.

Day 7: Serafina’s 30 Days of Kink

What’s your favorite toy?

This entry is part 7 of 14 in the series 30 Days of Kink w/ Serafina

What’s your favorite toy?

The Tango- blue and the Salsa white

The Tango- blue and the Salsa white

 

My favorite toy is difficult to pick.  In terms of durability and endurance I know I can always count on my hand.

 

However my toy of choice would be . . . drumroll please! . . the Hitachi!   It does the job well.  And who doesn’t have one?!

 

A close second is either the Salsa or Tango  really are one and the same- each has a quiet multi phase program that delivers.  The vibrations are strong, and it lasts for hours of use.

 

They are both water resistant, and the ball attaches to the charger and holds the vibe via magnetic contacts.  It is extremely easy to grab and return again to the charger.

Day 8: Serafina’s 30 Days of Kink

kinky image you find erotic

This entry is part 8 of 14 in the series 30 Days of Kink w/ Serafina

Post a kinky image you find erotic.

MSS_7409why is this an erotic image for me?

because it is a soft and furry fox tail so silky smooth!

because it has a wonderful glass- I love glass!

because it has a wonderful symbolism with an Eagle claw!

because it is a lovely conversation piece!

And I could take it anywhere if I wanted to- even a formal event!

Day 9: Serafina’s 30 Days of Kink

Kink related favorite music video you enjoy.

This entry is part 9 of 14 in the series 30 Days of Kink w/ Serafina

Because the Night by Patti Smith is my favorite music.

I choose that because I loved the song the first time I heard it.

it is the song I chose to play for my Collaring Ceremony

while I crawled my way blindfolded, down a long red carpet;

and with only a white corset and heels on.

Kink related song or favorite music video you enjoy.

Because the Night by Patti Smith

 

Day 10: Serafina’s 30 Days of Kink

What are your hard limits?

This entry is part 10 of 14 in the series 30 Days of Kink w/ Serafina

Hard limits are very strong dislikes of things I will not consider at all.  I do have a few of them.

The primary one is ingesting piss or poop.  I would not drink blood, fuck or be fucked by an animal.

I also would not choose to be punished for real, treated like a child, humiliated, or have bathroom and cleanliness restrictions.

I need my sleep to function so no sleep deprivation.  Stapling, as I am allergic to metals, nor  would I embrace permanent marks like scarification.  

I would not be a good candidate for forced or funnel feeding, nor extreme breath denial.  

Underwater games are also off limits, as is competing with others.  I have no intention of ever submitting to another female dominant.

Then there are a lot of softer limits,  Things I would not likely choose as a primal fantasy or otherwise, but I might try a few times.

Needle play,  and numbers of other activities have a potential to be down-sized or limited.  I love breath-play, but am afraid if I do not implicitly trust the one doing that to stop before I get to a panic point.

And although I will not submit to a female dominant, I am not necessarily opposed to a bit of play with someone.

The biggest issue for me is respect and trust.  I at least need to like the person.

I am by nature a submissive, and on occasion I do enjoy co-topping with someone, but I have learned that I am quite uncomfortable in a dominant role.  I just have my moments!

What are your hard limits?

serafina-hard-limits

coiling Master’s rope

Day 11: Serafina’s 30 Days of Kink

What are your views on the ethics of kink

This entry is part 11 of 14 in the series 30 Days of Kink w/ Serafina

My views on the ethics of kink

I feel any ethics are shaped by people who come from their various and diverse backgrounds and their sensibilities of right and wrong.

Kink is as ethical as the people who are in Kink.   Of course I adhere to the basics of trust, honor and respect.  everything else is negotiable.

It might also be said anything goes as long as there is no real or perceived harm to me or others.  Playing with another who is married is not a problem, for example if the other spouse  is aware of and allows or at least tolerates the activities.

I am sure one could present a long list of do’s and don’ts, but each of them is going to be subjected to that basic standard of trust, honor and respect, before they can be a consideration or abandonedMKH_3122sandstone

Day 12: Serafina’s 30 Days of Kink

BDSM Humor

This entry is part 12 of 14 in the series 30 Days of Kink w/ Serafina

 a humorous BDSM/kink experience

I recall one day at the special spot we like to call the Kinky Cabin.

A day sunny, and just right.  Master and I were waiting for Sir Alpha’s arrival.

I was tied to a bed inside naked and hands tied overhead and feet above, while Master lit a cigar, after it was wetted by my pussy and was out on the deck smoking while he scanned the edge of the woods for Sir.

Before long I heard voices as he arrived and he was delighted to see his quarry on display for him.

They finished smoking and released me only to then apply breath strips to my clit and restrained on top of a picnic table. for some time until there was a possibility for sunburn.

I was just released and sitting upright when the ranger showed up asking if we needed any more wood.

Otherwise there might have been some “splainin” to do!

BDSM Humor – Day 12: Serafina’s 30 Days of Kink

MKH_4027

Day 13: Serafina’s 30 Days of Kink

The appeal of kink and BDSM

This entry is part 13 of 14 in the series 30 Days of Kink w/ Serafina
  • Explain as best you can what the appeal of kink and BDSM is to you? Why are you drawn to what you’re drawn to?

The appeal of kink and BDSM?

The biggest part I enjoy is the depth of BDSM and the M/s relationship.  I enjoy the roles we have.

Mine to serve, honor and take direction from Master Michael.  His to protect, control, direct and take the lead.  And it is a force I am drawn to- like a moth to a flame

It is also called correctly submission.  The dictionary definition is the action or fact of accepting or yielding to a superior force or to the will or authority of another person.  Synonyms are: yielding, capitulation, acceptance, consent, compliance.

More than a bedroom or playtime activity, we live this life 24/7.   If all we did is play at roles it might be a simpler choice.

Full 24/7 M/s is a lot of work.  It has times of difficulty.  But, that is overcome by the joy and satisfaction of a real working relationship, it’s not a game.

I say a working relationship because relationships in a great variety of ways.  I have to actively make choices at all times that will both satisfy and honor Master.  I have to also be aware to not diminish my value to Master either by doing things beyond my capability, or by neglecting my health, and so on.

This is no less a challenge for Master either when you think that he is looking after and responsible for so much.  He holds down a steady job and pays bills like any other.

However, he also takes ownership of the well-being of our relationship in intricate detail.  Master is in the driver’s seat in the car, it is also a fact that he is in the Driver’s seat of our relationship and of how we live.

If for some reason Master chooses to ask me my opinion, I will give it as best I can.  But, I always strive to defer to his decisions.  At best I make suggestions of which Master then makes a choice or decides differently.

I follow.

I follow – Day 13: Serafina’s 30 Days of Kink

moony-monday-art

 

Day 14: Serafina’s 30 Days of Kink

How real life BDSM/kink varies from fantasy BDSM/kink

This entry is part 13 of 14 in the series 30 Days of Kink w/ Serafina

How would you say real life BDSM/kink varies from fantasy BDSM/kink? If you haven’t experienced real life BDSM/kink how do you think it might differ?
I would like to refer you to this entry where I explain that we are a 24/7 relationship and for me life as M/s dynamic is not a fantasy, but a reality.  As a reality it changes how you live and act.  Little mistakes can lead to less intimacy, acting out, and distance in the relationship.  To maintain a real life BDSM/kinky relationship it takes much diligence to have the kind of happiness and peace for the kind of intense relationship I crave.

Life in real – BDSM/kink  is a Journey

Life, and the lifestyle one chooses is a journey. . not an arrival. It is a destination, a path with many trails that can lead you entirely off-course or even to an abrupt end. It is a daily, hourly and moment by moment opportunity to keep to the path, or divert. And, we can do all this without even being aware at a conscious level, but the results will show if you are on the path or if you have wandered from your intent. Unless, that is you have already decided that the path you were committing to was not the path you really desire and it is acceptable to change your mind. But remember. . you need to be aware; and also communicate.

We all know that actions speak louder than words. But should one be judged on actions alone?  I think not- to gain perspective one needs to look at the entire picture, and cancel out actions that might be caused by circumstances, like disability or handicap.  Quite often we are trying to convince ourselves that we are on our path of choice,.  Meanwhile we begin to adjust to complacency and neglect to pay close attention to the small details. And soon a small discrepancy becomes an ever increasing distance from the original path. This concept is crudely demonstrated in the following drawing.

At first the mistakes and errors seem negligible, but soon an ever widening gap happens to take one far from the intended goals

At first the mistakes and errors seem negligible, but soon an ever widening gap happens to take one far from the intended goals

Brendan Perry of Dead Can Dance – American Dreaming puts it this way . . . “I need my conscience to keep watch over me To protect me from myself So I can wear honesty like a crown on my head When I walk into the promised land”

 

Mindfulness

From wikipdeia

“Mindfulness (Pali: sati, Sanskrit: smṛti; also translated as awareness) is a spiritual faculty (indriya) that is considered to be of great importance in the path to enlightenment according to the teaching of the Buddha. It is one of the seven factors of enlightenment. “Correct” or “right” mindfulness (Pali: sammā-sati, Sanskrit samyak-smṛti) is the seventh element of the noble eightfold path.

Enlightenment (bodhi) is a state of being in which greed, hatred and delusion (Pali: moha) have been overcome, abandoned and are absent from the mind. Mindfulness, which, among other things, is an attentive awareness of the reality of things (especially of the present moment) is an antidote to delusion and is considered as such a ‘power’ (Pali: bala). This faculty becomes a power in particular when it is coupled with clear comprehension of whatever is taking place”.

The Buddha advocated that “One should establish mindfulness (satipatthana) in one’s day-to-day life maintaining as much as possible a calm awareness of one’s bodily functions, sensations (feelings), objects of consciousness (thoughts and perceptions), and consciousness itself. The practice of mindfulness supports analysis resulting in the arising of wisdom”.

“The true nature of the mind,” says the Dalai Lama, “is beyond any concept or physical form, and therefore it cannot be studied solely by third-person, scientific methods. Mind must also be studied through a rigorous observation of our own subjective experience”.

According to Gandhi, “Inner transformation is the key to change”.

Being mindful is a serious discipline, and to take it seriously will have long-lasting and fruitful events that accelerate your chosen path. It is an extreme awareness of what your habits are telling about you. If one is not happy about the message that is perceived by trusted loved ones, then one must make a conscience decision to make corrections, and be ever more aware of the consequence of any actions.

In Conclusion

decisions

Waiting for Master to instruct

There is no conclusion until death robs one of any further endeavors or actions’ It is a life-long consignment. However real life BDSM/kink  is a choice one makes every moment of every day. It works very well when you have a trusting, and trust-worthy companion. Being mindful may not be easy, but it need not be difficult. Know that if mistakes are made, then there are ways to correct.

Too many people wander about aimlessly in life and when it is over they wonder what happened. Foe me in my personal life I have made a commitment to Submission. I have decided to become a Slave to that real life BDSM/kink  commitment. The commitment is to my Master Michael Samadhi. Near the end of my journey I only need to hear “Well done, you are good and faithful.”