Dom, sub, switch? What parts of BDSM interest you? Give us an interesting in-depth definition of what that means to you. Basically define your kinky self for us.
Submissive by nature. Submission is a choice as much as it is my nature. Submissives have certain vulnerabilities to want to be compliant, and to make the world a better place
There is an external reality that each person needs to be treated a certain way in order for the relationship to thrive. When you spend a clear night under the stars, most would probably say they feel uplifted, serene, dignified and yet humble.
Submission with dignity comes in part from a consciousness of your place within reality. Slavery sets the standard that much higher. For me, having dignity goes hand-in-hand with having humility. Humility, as CS Lewis famously said, is not thinking less of oneself but rather, thinking of oneself less.
I have dignity because I recognize that I have value to my Master, while not degrading myself except at rare times in the limited context of a scene. I do not need to be a doormat or trash in order to be a slave; quite to the contrary. By thinking of him more, and myself less, I demonstrate both humility and dignity.
The submissive has intrinsic value as a human being with needs and wants which must be considered if the relationship is to be healthy and lasting: I need to feel loved, desired, cherished, safe and protected.
To be an insatiable craving for him. To be controlled, dominated, used for his pleasure. To be praised when deserved, corrected when needed. To belong to him and to always feel totally and completely owned. To be allowed to express my feelings of devotion and love for him.
Master Michael is the source of those needs. He is a person and needs to be attached to for who they are, not for what they bring to the table. I want to serve him, to give him my everything, and to have him offer me the protection for the soft, fragile or Dyslexic sides of me that I want to share with him.
I need to be pushed to be more, better, to reach for more inside myself to give. I need to be controlled, not totally because I do need some independence. I need to be able to make my Master my World, as much as I need to be His.
I need to accept that I am worthy of his attention and love. I need him to take me out of my head when I think too much and over analyze. I need to feel his Dominance and his strength and protection
I suppose there is latent or otherwise a kinky side in everyone.
I was no different.
I certainly had imaginary encounters with fictional characters or infatuations of real people.
I don’t think one awakes one day and realizes they are kinky.
I think it gradually dawns on folks.
I know it has with me.
I am aware that it is still dawning in a way.
Nearly every day there is a kink nuance to explore or discover. I have only admitted to being kinky in the past 12 years and that is a credit to the the man I proudly call Master today.
Master Michael is a true Dominant and Leader in that he wants what suits him, but he also wants to push for the very best person I could ever choose to be for him. He has opened doors to me that I could never have given myself permission for.
This in turn has developed increasing trust and respect that continues to grow and be tested.
Early experiences that, in retrospect, hint at your kinks
Early experiences were there but not recognized till later in life by myself.
I have always been sexual from as far back as I can remember – about the age of 3 my mother laid me down for a nap with my sister the new baby was already sleeping. It was a hot summer day, no central air- heck! no air conditioning even considered in our Saskatchewan farm house.
I had on a little cotton petticoat no knickers. I was laying with one leg under the quilt, and one over. I noticed the silky soft feeling between mt legs if I moved my body just so. It felt so nice and all at once I felt this delightful “tickle” that made me shiver.
I tried to find that tickle again, but it was not to be found again that day. I remember trying on consecutive days to recreate that lovely tickle, but I honestly can not remember if I was successful. It only occurred to me about the time I hit 50 that I’d actually had an orgasm.
AS I continued to grow and work and do chores on the farm I would always wear skirts- by an enforced tradition in my parents home, and summers were often bare-bottomed while at home. We raised geese, turkeys and chickens by incubating fertile eggs and goslings are one of the most favorite of mine. They imprint on the first thing that they see moving right at the time of hatching. In our case it is humans.
I found it great satisfaction to lead the goslings from an enclosed pen into the grass to let the graze. They love to snuggle and they crawl all over my lap when I sat down and they nibble- tasting everything. The bills of a young gosling is rubbery and soft. Unlike their adult beaks which are strong, hard and powerful with razor edge. They can pack a wallop of a bite leaving amazing bruises that last for weeks.
That is when a sly idea was born- I wondered what those soft rubbery beaks might feel like on my pussy lips. hummm! Well they weren’t green and they didn’t seem edible to them so it was difficult to get them interested. But their soft down was feeling just fine. I do remember one of them taking a little nibble and it was delightful.
all this in the middle of an afternoon in the exposed farm-yard, but no one ever discovered my little secret. I was very aware of being sexual even if I never associated being sexual with being Kinky- but I suppose it was.
A moment with Sinnja- right after receiving her new collar from Master Michael and myself
My first actual introduction to Kink was in the home of Master Michael and his now former wife. I was invited for a visit after numbers of sexy chats to visit them. It was learned that I was considering divorce as well. They invited me and my son to come and join- and live with them.
The concept was not strange to me- I had lived in community before and I knew at least most of the possible downsides by then, so I was quite willing. Only this time all the adults would be having sex. That part was very new to me. I wasn’t sure what to anticipate there-
All I knew was that I was very interested because there was little sex in the marriage I was coming from. Here, from what I understood I would be free to explore anything I could ever dream of.
Before this I had never considered playing with another woman, and although I wasn’t familiar myself, I was not opposed to that either. I am aware that now upon reflecting that I did not respond to some of the overtures she made because I did not recognize them as such.
And, I have come a long way since then. I still have a lot more to explore and discover as well.