The Joy of Kink is Live!

The Joy of Kink is Live!

Joy of Kink! It’s Here

JoyOfKink.com Opens Primarily Due to Sinnjara’s Technical Work

The Joy of Kink is finally open!

I’ve still got months of work there restoring old articles going back to 2011 from both MichaelSamadhi.com and SpiritualBDSM.com.

Some will be completely rewritten, showing up at Joy of Kink completely transformed from their previous posting. Others will remain “as is”, outside of some loving restoration as they are transferred. Over time, many of the old articles will disappear from this site, redirected to the Joy of Kink.

Joy of Kink logo

Welcome to the Joy of Kink, a sex-positive website dedicated to exploring kink, BDSM, fetish, Tantra, and alternative sexuality in all its guises.

Source: Willkommen, Bienvenue, Welcome | Joy of Kink

By no means am I giving up on this domain.

This site -MichaelSamadhi.com- will be all about sharing the news and stories I’m reading. I have a few other purposes in mind too. Please bear with me as we clean up all the “virtual dust” from the construction.

There’s still a long way to go in the renovations behind the scenes for Samadhi Chateau’s virtual homes, but the Joy of Kink is up and looking good…

It’s ALL About the Bond

Wicked Wednesday

Prompt #270: Bond

When I first read Wicked Wednesday Prompt #270: Bond – I was stumped.  The attached video of the lovely performance didn’t help me any either.  I found no inspiration.

Then, after a nap this afternoon, I realized what the prompt meant to me.  Of course!

The special bonds I’ve found in BDSM relationships have been closer and deeper than any I’ve ever felt.  That is what inspires me to write on this topic.

vanilla’s just another spice

I want to say up front that I’m not going to claim (as some do) that BDSM relationships are always deeper.

I won’t even begin to say being part of a BDSM relationship creates a bond more special than other relationships styles.

You see, I’ve witnessed vanilla relationships with just as close a connection.  My Aunt and Uncle (Father’s brother and his wife) were one of the most exceptional couples I’ve ever met.  

I do know they shared an active sex life together all the way to the end.  I’m guessing they were pretty kinky too, at least all indications leaned that way.

But the relationship style was pure vanilla.

The bond they shared was forged in the great depression and a world war.

But, beyond that, it was built from shared hardships, common experiences, and mutual pleasures.

Those are the same elements which the best BDSM style relationships are also built upon.

Words are a pretext. It is the inner bond that draws one person to another, not words.

Jalaluddin Rumi

mutual pleasure

Without a doubt, the deepest relationships I’ve ever had were Master/slave relationships.

Obviously, I don’t believe that BDSM relationships feature an inherently deeper bond than other relationship styles.  But, it’s clear they can offer a path to a very close connection.

So, what is it about power exchange relationships that elicit such deep intimacy and closeness?

I think, in the case of successful power exchange relationships, it starts with mutual pleasure.

Often that is what attracted us to each other in the first place.  Our common interests in power exchange, kink, fetish, BDSM.

At least that’s how it has been for me, those times when I’ve found a great bond with others.

Granted, I’ve always been a very sexual creature.  And elements of BDSM have been part of my sexuality since my earliest memory.

I’ve nothing against pure vanilla.  In fact, I consider it to be just another spice.  But, it’s not my preference.  It’s not my kink, but that’s ok.

With that in mind, nearly all of the peak experiences I’ve shared with submissive partners, with my slaves, have been built around BDSM.

And, it’s those incredible mutual pleasures that help to build the very strong bond that often happens in power exchange/authority exchange relationships.

You don’t build a bond without being present.

James Earl Jones

common experience

If common experiences are another part of creating a great bond, opportunities abound within BDSM relationships.

Munches and play parties are a good example.  When folks in a power exchange relationship attend a play party (or even a munch) it can create memorable experiences they will always share.

At the very least, they aren’t off playing golf or attending church groups alone.

Bigger events and festivals can have even greater effects.

I know that I was inspired to become a presenter one weekend while attending Kinky Kollege in Chicago.  A visit to IML (also in Chicago) served as the catalyst for the formation of the first MAsT group in Iowa.

And, I know that Twisted Tryst, a four day weekend of camping and kinky debauchery, has had a dramatic effect on the lives of many.

If it’s true that the family that plays together stays together, then power exchange relationships offer great opportunities for bonding through those common experiences.

Love is the bond of perfection.

John Winthrop

shared hardships

I know it may seem a little odd at first that I’ve included shared hardships as a part of bonding.  I know it happens as a part of power exchange relationships.  And, to my mind, it’s a very common occurrence.

For most power exchange participants, keeping their kink activities in the closet is a necessity.  Perhaps we are out to friends or even family.  But, it’s rare for most to have our kink fully integrated into our lives.

Obviously, that’s a form of a shared hardship, the kind that can create a strong bond in relationships.

Parents with children face a similar situation.

Hiding a vibrator or dildo may cause a certain sense of unease for parents of inquisitive children.  But, needing to conceal floggers and other similar implements of instruction can be more anxiety inducing still.

The need to keep our authentic lives secret creates a shared hardship that bonds those of us who have immersed ourselves in power exchange ever closer to each other.

bond – Michael’s way

I really don’t enjoy power exchange, or any form of BDSM play, without a connection.  It does nothing for me without a bond.

I stopped doing “pick-up” play of any kind a while back, for that very reason.

I need that bond.  It could be said that I crave it.

Without that connection, the power exchange is really a role-play.  Roleplaying and cosplay are fun, but they aren’t what truly fuel my fire.

It really is ALL about the bond for me…

Wicked Wednesday... a place to be wickedly sexy or sexily wicked

The Best of Dickin’ Around…

dildo flippin' fun

I saw this on Facebook today, and thought it was an absolute hoot!

A post shared by Saucenstein (@piegle) on

Perhaps even better than the video itself, was the commentary offered by renowned BDSM author, Laura Antoniou.

Here. You wanna have a new freakin’ contest in the kink scene? This. I want to see the quarter-finals for this, and the grand…er…slam. I guess? I want to see folks going all balls to the wall while flinging their johnsons.

I want to hear announcers and color-folk and their coverage.

“And here’s Master Wolfdick, he surprised us all with that Triple Tallywhacker in Tulsa…”

“Oh, what a disappointment for Pup Waggletail! Her Bouncing Boner is *just* outside the target area. That’ll for sure put a knot in her plans to head for the final round.”

“Slave Stoneybutt approaches the line, eyes the course. Hey, is that the new Love Truncheon model from Dicks by Dykes, Sally?”

“It sure is, Jake, available in the vendor space for only $19.99 tonight…”

“Wow, look at that arc! This fucker really knows how to fly! And that’s one bounce – a flip – and it sticks the landing! Amazing!”

“Right on target! that’s some fast fascinus, for sure – I bet we’ll be seeing a lot more of those in future trials. Remember, the Love Truncheon is made in 16 colors and patterns by Dicks by Dykes, an official sponsor of the Northwest Goodfellow Games!”

Laura Antoniou

Antoniou’s commentary was as much fun (for me) as the video itself.

Laura is, of course, the author of the Marketplace series, a true classic in kink literature.

And, she’s no stranger to writing comedy/satire either.  Her book, The Killer Wore Leather, is a satirical classic in its own right.

I’d considered writing my own commentary, similar to Laura’s.  But, when in the presence of a Master of their trade…

Anyway, I hope it’s all good, eliciting a giggle (or laughter) for you too.

Trump Tweets Transgender Armed Forces Ban

their willingness to put themselves in harm's way somehow isn't enough?

Before any American points a finger at President Putin and calls him nasty names, they should recognize that a lot of Americans agree with Putin on his stance against homosexual and transgender people.

Henry Rollins

It turns out the statement by Henry Rollins, a long-time human rights activist, was prescient.

There are indeed a lot of people whose beliefs are similar to Vladimir Putin when it comes to transgender and homosexual individuals.

Sadly, one of them is our own President.

Reacting to Trump’s Transgender Twitterstorm

I’m sure you’ve already heard about Donald Trump’s twitterstorm…

OK.  Considering the frequency with which “the Donald” tweets, I should probably be more specific.

I’m referring to the three tweets from July 26th, 2017.  The tweets where he announced a ban on transgendered individuals serving in the armed forces.

It’s pretty clear, from all indications, that this is a political move on Trump’s part.

This is an issue that was already settled for our armed forces.  Transgendered people are currently serving in the military.

As many as 15,000 patriotic transgendered citizens currently serve in the military.  The sky hasn’t fallen.  National defense has not been compromised.

no reason… none

Trump’s tweets seemingly jumped the gun on this issue too, catching military leadership unprepared.

Only a month ago, Defense Secretary James Mattis called for a six-month study of armed services policies regarding transgendered persons.  Action on the issue was to be deferred until the study’s completion.

For those who believe the real reason was cost, check again.  The US military spends more on Viagra/Cialis alone than it costs to support their transgendered population.

There are already 15,000 patriotic, transgender Americans serving in our military, and this ban will cause a huge disruption. Furthermore, this puts the careers of patriotic transgender Americans on the line who want nothing more than to serve their country.

Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation (GLAAD)

Our armed forces are 100% volunteer.

That means the brave transgendered who are in the military stepped forward for duty.  They chose to serve in defense of their country.

There is no good reason to deny them that opportunity.

None.

response

The counter reaction to Trump’s tweets was swift and vigorous.

Chelsea Manning (perhaps a catalyst for Trump’s move) replied quickly.  So did Caitlyn Jenner (who had been a vocal Trump supporter.)

The United States armed forces even pushed back.

I know there are questions about yesterday’s announcement on the transgender policy by the President.  There will be no modifications to the current policy until the President’s direction has been received by the Secretary of Defense and the Secretary has issued implementation guidance.

Marine General Joseph Dunford

Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff

politics?

Admittedly, the President does have his defenders.

They are the people referred to by Henry Rollins.  They are the people who voted for Trump.

Because of their religious beliefs and/or conservative values, they refuse to accept the transgendered.

Not in their schools.  Not in their churches.  And certainly not in their military.

It’s that political constituency the twitterstorm plays towards.

But it’s not what it seems.

Trump’s tweets are not meant to give our country a better military.  No, they are meant to paint the Democrats into a corner in the rust-belt states.  Places where supporters of transgender rights are not the majority.

The whole thing is designed to put Trump’s opponents on the defensive.  It’s all political…

As a veteran, Senator Ernst served alongside fellow service members from all different backgrounds and parts of the country.  While she believes taxpayers shouldn’t cover the costs associated with a gender reassignment surgery, Americans who are qualified and can meet the standards to serve in the military should be afforded that opportunity.

Senator Joni Ernst (R-Iowa)

- spokesperson - Brook Hougesen

politics suck

I never imagined I’d feel a great need to write about our armed forces.

Perhaps a special greeting on Veteran’s Day and Memorial Day.  But, that’s about it.

It’s not a topic that generally jives well with a sexuality blog.

I want to say up front, that it absolutely sucks to have to put anything dealing with politics here on my blog.

I didn’t want to do it.

And, I still don’t want to get political.  Life, however, doesn’t always present easy choices.  This is one of those times.

I’ve been inside politics.

Worked as a press secretary, campaign manager, a Chief of Staff.  Even managed to get myself elected once.  Before that, I spent close to a decade as a community organizer.

Then, close to ten years ago, I walked away from it all.  Left in disgust.

All too often, politics these days involves betrayal.  I was having none of that.  It was all making me ill.

Wanting no part of that circus anymore, politics was dead to me.  And, I swore not to drag that carcass here.

Whether you’re transgender or not, most of us get to a point in our lives where we can no longer lie to ourselves.

Laverne Cox

reality bites

Then the realization hit.  Sometimes staying silent would be a greater injustice than sullying my blog with politics.

In this case, the topic intersects with the blog’s mission anyway.

I’m here to write about kink.  Fetish.  BDSM.  Exploring paganism.  Tantra.

I want to explore all things sexual.  Revel in the exotic and the erotic.

I’d like to pass on some of what I’ve learned about kink.  And, share a little bit of the history of sexuality that I’ve studied.  Perhaps pass along relevant news from time to time.

I want my words to paint pictures in your mind.  I hope my illustrations and pictures can speak to you like words.

In order to explore these topics, I need to work from a place of sexual freedom.  I have to strive for an atmosphere of tolerance and acceptance.

I loathe the thought of making politics a regular part of Michael’s Way.  But, there’s no escaping the topic.

Political issues and decisions affect the atmosphere I work in.  They impact my sexual freedoms.  Ultimately, the laws of the land even determine my ability to be a sex blogger.

With that in mind, I cannot afford to be silent.  None of us can…

You know, gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender – people are people.

Judith Light

My Swedish sex toy was made in China?

Nea sounds like Neo? Really?

90% of toys are made in China, which technically makes the Chinese elves.

Sean Lock

A version of this post was originally published on October 13, 2011.  It has been edited and updated for MichaelSamadhi.com.

no deposit – no return

There are few guarantees when purchasing adult toys.

For public health reasons, returns are almost always forbidden by local law.  I think even my most staunch libertarian friends would accept that role for government regulation.

Who really wants a used dildo anyway?

(Btw – don’t answer that… you don’t want to go there… there are people who pay for used panties after all.)

Most adult toy makers offer no warranty on their goods.  But, there are a few higher end manufacturers offering a year (or perhaps two) of limited protection against failure.

This also makes sense to me.  Would you be ashamed to return some cheap ‘Johnson’ made by Doc Johnson?  I would.

Some toys are like a really bad one night stand.  The kind where it’s best to cringe, walk away, and pretend nothing happened.

Some things aren’t worth returning…

Sex toys have long since graduated from the floppy rubber things you hide in your bedside table to beautiful works of interactive art

Gwyneth Paltrow

it’s made where?

I recently had an experience with a warranty return on one of those higher end products.

It’s a really nice piece from an established and respected European company in the $100+ price range.

The toy’s name sounds a lot like a role once played by Keanu Reeves. (See subtitle.)

Please note that this particular company proudly advertises manufacturing all of it’s products ‘in-house’.  (edit – At least that was the claim when this article was first written.)

That leads me to believe, for instance, that if this particular company is headquartered in Sweden, then it’s gear would also be manufactured in Sweden.

Suzhou – Shanghai – Anchorage

Imagine my surprise then when the FedEx tracking for my warranty replacement originated in Suzhou, China.

That is not a typographical error either.

My package then transited through Shanghai.  Then to Anchorage.  Before finally making it to the mainland USA, and on towards the humble abode I call Chateau Samadhi.

this is Sweden – it’s a part of Europe

this is China, it’s not a part of Europe

We live in a day and age where good numbers of Chinese exports have been discovered to be tainted with heavy metals.  Poisonous chemicals, like diethylene glycol, have also been found in products from China.

For no other reason than that, I do my best to avoid purchasing products that wear the “Made in China” label.

And, health concerns are not my only worry.

political and religious prisoners

I’m also concerned about the common use of forced labor (i.e. political and religious prisoners) in Chinese manufacturing.  Estimates of the total number of Chinese political and religious prisoners run as high as six or eight million.

The use of those prisoners in manufacturing is both well documented and common.

Some of those individuals are imprisoned simply for their faith.

Most famously, this includes practitioners of Falun Gong.  But, they are not alone in suffering from Chinese persecution.

That’s a pretty disturbing thought for a blog author who believes that BDSM can be a spiritual activity.

As if being inducted into the “Made in China Prison Industrial Complex” wasn’t enough…

It’s said that religious prisoners receive the longest sentences, and worst treatment, once inducted into the Chinese penal system.

You may be reading this on a smartphone, while flying on a plane, or while nibbling on a bit of chocolate. And therefore, a new study asserts, it’s entirely possible that you’re enjoying the products of slave labor.

Jay Busbee

Yahoo News

like blood diamonds

I knew a girl who wouldn’t accept a $10,000 engagement ring without certification.

She had to know it was not a “blood diamond” used to fund some evil insurgent or warlord before ever wearing it.

Her poor unknowing fiance had to return the first ring he bought her…

Do you really think folks like that are going to take kindly to the possibility that the “Sweedish” toy humming in their vagina was made in China?

Can you imagine how she might respond if she found out the vibe was some kind of “prisoner dildo” fostering Communist repression?

Somebody’s got some ‘splaining to do!

God made everything that has life. And the rest is made in China.

Kcee Cunanan


Michael’s Way 2017

Outside of some relatively minor editing, everything above this point was written in October 2011.

I added a few links, illustrations, and made some formatting changes.  Shortening a few of the original’s run-on sentences was another goal of the revision.

I remain especially concerned today about human rights violations in China.  It’s a country where there are only five officially sanctioned religions.

Any spiritual/religious practice outside of those five ‘state’ religions is forbidden, not to mention punished.  Tibetan Buddhism is among the persecuted practices, which is a serious problem for me. 

You can be sure that it was made to look like an accident.  That it was a set up.

Peng Ming

Chinese dissident - predicted his own death in prison

made in China

I’m told that most of the world’s vibrators are made in China.  It’s said that the reason is economics.

I can’t say that I have direct evidence that adult toys are being produced by slave labor.  It is, however, very certain there are huge economic advantages for the Chinese economy in employing slave labor on such a massive scale.

When millions of individuals in your labor force are a ‘captive audience’, it’s relatively easy to produce a product that’s inexpensive.  Especially compared to the wages and benefits necessary for workers in European manufacturing.

Once upon a time, I collected nearly every offering produced by a certain Swedish sex toy company.  Since I discovered that their products were made in China, that’s no longer true.