One year ago today Serafinas was officially collared as my slave. We could neither afford, nor did we have the energy to put together anything big this year to celebrate, so we simply invited our very dear friend Alpha Bull down to visit. Our friendship with Alpha is by far the deepest we share in the community, which itself is significant.
But, the invitation was full of other meaning as well. In addition to giving the formal toast after the ceremony, Alpha was the man chosen to bring a blindfolded and nearly naked Serafina down the aisle to me, on a leash. To top everything else off, Alpha had given us a case of Naked Wines as a gift at the ceremony, and I’d promised to share one bottle with him on the event’s anniversary. I’ve actually held back the entire case, thinking that as long as the wine holds out, we can sample a bottle every year on the collaring’s anniversary.
For yesterday, Sinnjara supplied a very delicious Rye Whiskey she picked up just for the event, as she’d once heard me mention that Rye was one of Alpha’s favorite drinks. Serafina slaved over the stove for two consecutive days to produce a chocolate cake-pie and a Lemon Meringue pie.
Me? I supplied the cigars. Sinnjara smoked a Tatiana Mocha Caramely, Serafina had a CAO Cherry Bomb Cigarillo, while Alpha and I savored the pairing of Sinnja’s rye whiskey with a Joya De Nicaragua Antaño 1970 Lanceros.
Also, mirroring my efforts at the collaring ceremony, I grilled meat. I’ve been cooking meat over a grill since the 1970’s, I did it professionally while supporting myself as a youth. It’s not only something I’m good at, it’s a joy for me to do as well. Slow cooking meat over a grill is almost as relaxing as enjoying a fine cigar. Pairing the two together (not to mention the addition of Sinnjara’s Rye) is always an outstanding experience for me.
As we were sitting around discussing the news, the topic of rape play came up. It seems that a mutual friend of ours acted out a rape fantasy with a lady at the Kinky Kottage, so Alpha was sharing the story as he knew it.
Now let’s be honest, rape play isn’t an everyday topic here, but, truth told, it’s relatively common as a fantasy. I’ve seen estimates that more than 50% of women have, at some time in their life, fantasized about forced or coerced sex. The popularity of what I call “bodice ripping” harlequin style romance novels is proof positive that it’s not an uncommon fantasy at all. Certainly, it’s a marketable niche to say the least.
Now I do want to be clear about one thing – in talking about “rape play” – we are discussing a special niche within BDSM, the realm of consensual non-consent. Because rape and force fantasies are so common, a lot of protocols have been developed within the community to try and make fulfilling the fantasies relatively safe. Even with that said, any kind of consensual non-consent is edge play. It’s not anything to be taken lightly, or to be done without some serious forethought.
I have a very dear friend who hopes to live out rape fantasies. I’ve pledged to help her live them out, and I’m not the kind of man to give my word like that lightly. But, because she has become a dear friend, I’ve begun to wonder if my role in fulfilling her fantasy will only end up being advisory. I may have to help organize her rape, but not be able to take part myself.
Well, the proposition was put forth yesterday, that for a lady to really have her fantasy fulfilled, it’s best done by someone she doesn’t know, a stranger. It’s pretty logical if you think about it. If Dee and I feel affection and sexual attraction for each other, it’s not like anything I do with her could be realistic enough to fulfill the fantasy. Oh I could hurt her, she could struggle, we could have some really nasty rough sex that verged on the non-consensual. That sounds like a good time to me. But seriously, how can it be non-consensual if there is any kind of preexisting attraction?
That’s one key difference between real life and fantasy. In the real world, a high percentage of rapes are committed by individuals who might be considered friends, or at least part of a shared social circle. While there may be women who fantasize about being raped by a friend, that’s not how the fantasy usually works . . .
It was such a fascination conversation that we had, I’d like to continue it here. What are your thoughts on consensual non-consent and rape play?
Our history with dione12 (I’ll just call her Dee from here) and her hubbie Gatekeeper goes back to 2012.
As such, they were among the first folks we met in coming “out” into the local BDSM community after my mother passed.
And, we’ve shared a good number of “firsts” together with Dee and her hubby too.
The first couple Serafina and I played with.
The first couple I’ve ever mentored.
The first couple I’ve ever sceened with in a hotel.
The first new folks we ever introduced to a munch.
The first person I’ve ever had to tell they were a masochist.
The first person I’ve ever discovered who was a true Smart Assed Masochist (S.A.M.).
The first time a woman choose a scene with me for her birthday celebration. (The year before she had been sky-diving. When I asked her which was more fun, she said it was our scene.)
The first woman I ever choose to accept my birthday spanking for me. (A Riverbound tradition allows a dominant to select a submissive to accept their birthday spanking, I choose Dee.)
I’m sure I could come up with several more, if I allowed myself the luxury of anything more than the quick brainstorm session that generated the previous list. There are a good number of firsts she’s shared with Serafina too, but it’s not my place to tell the girl’s secrets.
Needless to say, Dee is a special lady to us. So is her husband Gatekeeper, he’s special to us as well. We’ve shared every one of those moments together, we never play separately.
That’s one of the rules I taught them back at the very start of our relationship with each other. I believe that the couple who plays together will likely stay together. It’s not a universal truth (what is really?) but it’s been consistently successful for me over a span of time going back to 1989.
That’s what makes our friendship/relationship so complex. I mentor both Dee and Gatekeeper, yet I’ve also become a play partner of Dee’s.
Ya, I know, not by the book. But, I’ve been extremely careful not to make any claim or make real demands of Dee. I don’t even ask her for sexual service.
As play partners I whip and flog her. I make her cum. I make her moan, and shake, and quiver, not to mention cry out with both pain and pleasure.
And I ask for nothing in return. Well, nothing beyond the pleasure of helping them both learn.
And that is quite a gift. To see our community thru fresh eyes. To have the opportunity to help others cut their teeth, learn, grow, and become part of the kink community in good standing on their own merits.
Oh yes, and I also get the opportunity to put a smile on a masochist’s face. Like they said in the old MasterCard commercials . . .
There is no other way to describe the folks I hold near and dear to my heart, my friends and family, than to portray them as a “cast of characters”.
Of course I don’t mean to imply that we are all just playing roles, I don’t use the term “character” in that sense at all. I mean the word character like my mother used it, to describe a person who was exceptional, unusual, or flamboyant.
I think mom used it as a bit of a derogatory term. Obviously it has the exact opposite connotation to my eyes. I like characters. And, there’s no doubt I’ve got an exceptional cast at the moment. But, it might take a scorecard to keep track of them all. With that in mind, I’d like to give a quick outline of the dramatis personæ for Samadhi House.
The primary subject of the blog is myself and my immediate leather family. The blog is about them, and for them, at the same time . . .
Michael Samadhi – Your Humble Narrator – Master of Serafina, Dominant of Sinnja. Lifestyle dominant, sadist, eccentric, writer, photographer, and (believe it or not) philanthropist.
Serafina Samadhi – The Mostest Hostess, slave to Michael, submissive to AlphaBull. Serafina is a porcelain skinned beauty with dignity, class, and grace. She’s my beloved, my wife and my partner in all things.
Sinnja – my recently collared submissive, our new love and best friend. Sinnja’s smart, sexy, sassy, and sweet. She’s got the biggest heart, a smile to melt my own heart, and eyes that entrance my soul. Now she’s mine!
Deserving to be mentioned in nearly the same breath . . .
AlphaBull – my best male friend, an outstanding dominant, he joined us to assist for a few scenes as a part of Serafina’s training, and now has become family. A ruggedly handsome outdoorsman and craftsman, Alpha’s biggest fetish is the cuckold lifestyle. I’m currently encouraging Serafina and Alpha to find a single male they could cuckold together.
There are a couple of former girlfriends / play partners who are still close friends who’ve been mentioned here before, and will probably earn mention again . . . .
Cherub – a dear friend who I used to play with for the better part of the 1990’s. She’s an artist, healer, and writer. Someday we will collaborate together to write the great american novel.
Lexxi – good friend and play partner for the last half of 2013. A complex lady with an intuitive sense for energy play, ultimately we found we did far better as friends than in any sort of relationship.
Then there are the folks I mentor / protect . . .
Gatekeeper0613 – a good friend, my first student (along with his wife Dee), father, family man and business manager, he’s trying to learn the ropes while juggling heavy work and family responsibilities, at this point he’s really more friend than student, but I continue to list him as someone I mentor out of respect for the way the relationship began. Very loyal to and protective of Dee.
Dione12 / Dee – a good friend, my first student (along with her husband Gatekeeper0613) who has, in return, helped me to explore and better understand my sadistic side. Our relationship has evolved from mentor/student, to play partners, and ultimately to being great friends. She’s a mother and career woman, as well as being able to flip hamburgers without any utensils.
nova3434 / Stephen – A serious student of mastery – we see each other far less frequently than I wish, but his smile as well as his enthusiasm and dedication to kink are infectious.
TheropeArtist / Shawn – A serious student of BDSM – we see each other less frequently than I wish, but his serious nature and studious manner are very rare in young dominants.
dragonmoon1970 – The victim of a vindictive and vengeful former dominant, she was placed under my protection late last fall. A dear sweet lady who’s health has not been the best in the year we’ve known her.
And of course we have some wonderful close friends too, folks that could get called extended family:
Lady Jennifer – there aren’t many Dommes on my Dramatis personæ, you won’t run across one again until the listing of my more casual friends, but Lady Jennifer is at the top of this list. As I’ve often said in her presence, I’d walk through hell in a gasoline suit for Jennifer. She’s a hell of a lady who helped me double team Dee for my birthday last year in a scene some folks are still talking about.
puppet – Lady Jennifer’s wonderful submissive man. He’s kind, intelligent, witty, funny, not to mention the fact that he giggles beautifully when Serafina occasionally has warmed him up for Jennifer.
Dark Kitty – a dear lady friend of ours from California, a sweet submissive and a kind hearted lady who’s ass glows nicely for a good flogging!
Then there are a couple of kinksters we’ve met through Sinnja, as they are her family.
shadowborn – Sinnja’s husband, who believe it or not has wished me well with his wife. I don’t know him well yet, but any man who writes me to wish me well in my relationship with his wife will make my list of friends. And that is one thing we do have in common for sure, we both love Sinnja enough to want her ultimate happiness. I just happen to think her ultimate happiness is to be found serving me, and it seems Lewis agrees, at least for the moment.
addar – Believe it or not, he’s Sinnja’s oldest son. I met him for the first time at the munch where I first met Sinnja. He’s a really cool guy, has hit it off really well with Serafina. I consider him family too!
Then there are a pair of ex wives, one of whom get’s mentioned at least infrequently . . .
BlissfulTorment / Bliss / Blissy– My partner for close to 20 years, my submissive for a decade, we were married from 1993 until 2009. A physically beautiful creature who was a lifeguard, personal trainer, and nude model, Blissy was also a narcissist. Ultimately I found she could not be trusted, and in the end, without trust there is no real love.
Charley – My first wife, we were married for 3 years in the early 1980’s. I shared my first BDSM wedding night with Charlie, three days after my 18th birthday. A good woman, we were just married too young. I see her out at a restaurant once a year it seems, and we always exchange friendly smiles and kind words.
Finally, there are a number of more casual friends, folks we don’t see as often as we’d like, but are still an important part of our lives.
_his_Owner / Mr_Ellen – a great person, wonderful presenter, very serious about the lifestyle, she’s the reason I have a suspension frame that was originally designed as a swing stand, we gave her our kitchen table in return.
Sir_Eric – outstanding dominant and great all around guy, organizer of Kinkstock, dominant of Aly.
Aly – great lady, submissive to Eric, fun, witty, and just a little bit bratty (sometimes more than a little!).
Lady_E – another great lady, a local Pro-Domme who has hosted a couple of private parties we attended, I borrowed her airsoft rifles for an interrogation scene last November.
I’m almost positive I’ve missed folks who deserve to make the list, but that’s always something I can catch up on later if necessary. Some of these folks will likely become the “victims” of a more detailed individual write up. Lucky them, right?
For now though, that’s a pretty good basic scorecard for the folks who want to keep track of the cast of characters that surrounds my life.
I’ll make no accounting of words that are part of the worlds of fetish, or kink, starting with the letter “M”.
“M” is for masochist, pure and simple. There was no other consideration.
Sure, “M” could stand for Master. It could also stand for ménage à trois. M/s is another possibility, at least in theory. “M” could stand for Michael, or Michael Samadhi too.
But to my heart, “M” will always stand for masochist.
My identity as a sadist is part of the attraction I feel to kink. I get to do wicked things to people, and they come back for more. Sometimes, I even get to make them beg me for more! Aren’t masochists beautiful creatures?
My dominant side is well fulfilled by Serafina. Oh my, she’s a glorious slave. I’ve never know a person more ready and eager to please their dominant. It’s not a posture, there’s no acting or role play, it’s who she is down to her core. She loves to please, and it shows.
Serafina, however, would be the first to tell you she’s not a masochist. Oh, she’s got some potential to develop (I always tell her I have plans for her – I will until my dying day) but she’ll never be a full fledged masochist, and I wouldn’t want to change her into one. She’s just perfect the way she is! Really!
However, my sadistic side is not as well fulfilled as the dominant. While my dominant is living high on the hog in the Monopoly equivalent of Boardwalk and Park Place, my poor sadist is on the wrong side of the tracks. The sadist isn’t quite slumming on properties like Baltic and Mediterranean avenues, but he’s not in any sort of high rent territory either. I have two masochistic friends I’ve played with in the past, but neither has been available much in 2014. I got to play with our friend Dee at the Kinky Kabin in March. That’s it . . .
So my sadist needed satiating. And he needed it badly. I’m prone to saying, “I’m a man who gets what he wants,” these days, simply because it’s true. And right now I wanted needed a masochist.
You could say that my prayers were answered. And how! I got to play with the most wonderful masochist the past weekend. And let me tell you, it was flat out fucking glorious!
I like to play pretty heavy. Most of our past playmates are finishing a scene right as I get warmed up. Dee’s been the only one to truly challenge me so far, and that’s been limited to an extent by the fact that her husband is a good friend of mine. I play within his limits more than I do hers.
That wasn’t a problem this past weekend. I wanted to play heavy, and I did! I played heavy and hard enough that I really owe my friend Alpha, as I broke his handcrafted maple paddle over my new friend’s ass! Alpha is a true craftsman, and the paddle was his own handiwork. Oh, it was a thing of beauty.
the paddle formerly known as Alpha’s Paddle
I broke it.
I broke it on my new girl’s ass, while she laughed! I hit her full force, with all my might, and she laughed!
OK, by the 25th or 30th blow, each of them full force, she wasn’t laughing any more. Well, at least not until the paddle splintered. Then she laughed more.
I have to admit, when Alpha’s poor paddle splintered, we both laughed.
I thought Serafina’s eyes were going to bulge out, she couldn’t believe it!
At first, all Alpha said was, “Really? . . . Really? . . . No way!”
Oh, it was a moment for sure. It may be remembered as another day of infamy, right up there with Dee using her bare hands to flip hamburgers (we didn’t have a spatula) at the Kinky Kabin.
Oh what a glorious memory! Hopefully it’s the first of many with our new friend . . .
Yes indeed, there’s no denying that “M” is for masochist!
Bad BDSM is much like any other kind of bad sex and for the same reasons. Good BDSM is much like any other kind of good sex and for the same reasons. If either is impersonal and done by the numbers, it will disappoint. If either is done with real feelings, passion and a sense of connection, it will deliver beyond expectations. Kink isn’t the key factor here. It’s the ability to connect with another human being.