If you subscribe to the aphorism that sex is really about power, Ireson suggests another reason to why Modigliani’s nudes were so shocking: “These women are overtly sexual and that really connects with the way women were troubling society at the time. These pictures were made during the First World War, when more women were working, more women were living independently … there really is a social anxiety about that.”
I’m finally starting to feel normal, after my bout of bronchitis / laryngitis / sinusitis…
Of course, there’s tons of work to catch up on. And, this is my busiest time of year, at least thru mid-December. Then, if it makes any sense, it’s my quiet time until after the holidays.
Sinnjara and I celebrated our Thanksgiving yesterday with her family. It’s a kinky group, no doubt about it. Sooner or later they will all get a write up over at the Joy of Kink, some will be authors there, I expect.
For now, just know that the night I met Sinnjara at a local munch she was there with her eldest son, who is (obviously) also kinky.
With all the work and festivities, there’s been little or no time for anything besides work, eat, sleep. Eating’s even been a bit of an issue, no one’s felt much like cooking or eating.
The Thanksgiving Celebration was the exception, food was delicious. Good enough that appetites showed up!
I didn’t participate in this week’s #SoSS, I simply hadn’t found the time or energy to look around the web at other’s posts. I feel a little bit ashamed that I haven’t been a good sex-blogging netizen, but I have to put work and relationships first, before blogging.
I’ve still got months of work there restoring old articles going back to 2011 from both MichaelSamadhi.com and SpiritualBDSM.com.
Some will be completely rewritten, showing up at Joy of Kink completely transformed from their previous posting. Others will remain “as is”, outside of some loving restoration as they are transferred. Over time, many of the old articles will disappear from this site, redirected to the Joy of Kink.
Welcome to the Joy of Kink, a sex-positive website dedicated to exploring kink, BDSM, fetish, Tantra, and alternative sexuality in all its guises.
This site -MichaelSamadhi.com- will be all about sharing the news and stories I’m reading. I have a few other purposes in mind too. Please bear with me as we clean up all the “virtual dust” from the construction.
There’s still a long way to go in the renovations behind the scenes for Samadhi Chateau’s virtual homes, but the Joy of Kink is up and looking good…
Julia Serano’s logic seems very sound to me. I think I’d like to read more of her writing. I’ve read a lot of Patrick Califia, but am not as well educated on Transgender issues as I’d like…
“The idea of two sexes is simplistic. Biologists now think there is a wider spectrum than that.”
note: The day this was published, H.R. 2796 — a U.S. congressional bill that would legally re-define “man” and “woman” based on an individual’s “genetic sex,” as a means to rollback transgender rights — started to garner news & media attention. While this essay was not intended to address that bill specifically, it thoroughly undermines its logical, legal, and scientific standing…
The primary assumption driving most “biological sex” myths is that there are two discrete mutually exclusive sexes that are immutable (i.e., once born into a sex, you will always be a member of that sex). While there are a number of sexually dimorphic traits — such as chromosomes, gonads, external genitals, other reproductive organs, ratio of sex hormones, and secondary sex characteristics — many times these traits do not all align (i.e., all male, or all female) within the same person, as is the case for intersex and many transgender people…
When I first read Wicked Wednesday Prompt #270: Bond – I was stumped. The attached video of the lovely performance didn’t help me any either. I found no inspiration.
Then, after a nap this afternoon, I realized what the prompt meant to me. Of course!
The special bonds I’ve found in BDSM relationships have been closer and deeper than any I’ve ever felt. That is what inspires me to write on this topic.
vanilla’s just another spice
I want to say up front that I’m not going to claim (as some do) that BDSM relationships are always deeper.
I won’t even begin to say being part of a BDSM relationship creates a bond more special than other relationships styles.
You see, I’ve witnessed vanilla relationships with just as close a connection. My Aunt and Uncle (Father’s brother and his wife) were one of the most exceptional couples I’ve ever met.
I do know they shared an active sex life together all the way to the end. I’m guessing they were pretty kinky too, at least all indications leaned that way.
But the relationship style was pure vanilla.
The bond they shared was forged in the great depression and a world war.
But, beyond that, it was built from shared hardships, common experiences, and mutual pleasures.
Those are the same elements which the best BDSM style relationships are also built upon.
Words are a pretext. It is the inner bond that draws one person to another, not words.
Without a doubt, the deepest relationships I’ve ever had were Master/slave relationships.
Obviously, I don’t believe that BDSM relationships feature an inherently deeper bond than other relationship styles. But, it’s clear they can offer a path to a very close connection.
So, what is it about power exchange relationships that elicit such deep intimacy and closeness?
I think, in the case of successful power exchange relationships, it starts with mutual pleasure.
Often that is what attracted us to each other in the first place. Our common interests in power exchange, kink, fetish, BDSM.
At least that’s how it has been for me, those times when I’ve found a great bond with others.
Granted, I’ve always been a very sexual creature. And elements of BDSM have been part of my sexuality since my earliest memory.
I’ve nothing against pure vanilla. In fact, I consider it to be just another spice. But, it’s not my preference. It’s not my kink, but that’s ok.
With that in mind, nearly all of the peak experiences I’ve shared with submissive partners, with my slaves, have been built around BDSM.
And, it’s those incredible mutual pleasures that help to build the very strong bond that often happens in power exchange/authority exchange relationships.
You don’t build a bond without being present.
James Earl Jones
If common experiences are another part of creating a great bond, opportunities abound within BDSM relationships.
Munches and play parties are a good example. When folks in a power exchange relationship attend a play party (or even a munch) it can create memorable experiences they will always share.
At the very least, they aren’t off playing golf or attending church groups alone.
Bigger events and festivals can have even greater effects.
I know that I was inspired to become a presenter one weekend while attending Kinky Kollege in Chicago. A visit to IML (also in Chicago) served as the catalyst for the formation of the first MAsT group in Iowa.
And, I know that Twisted Tryst, a four day weekend of camping and kinky debauchery, has had a dramatic effect on the lives of many.
If it’s true that the family that plays together stays together, then power exchange relationships offer great opportunities for bonding through those common experiences.
Love is the bond of perfection.
I know it may seem a little odd at first that I’ve included shared hardships as a part of bonding. I know it happens as a part of power exchange relationships. And, to my mind, it’s a very common occurrence.
For most power exchange participants, keeping their kink activities in the closet is a necessity. Perhaps we are out to friends or even family. But, it’s rare for most to have our kink fully integrated into our lives.
Obviously, that’s a form of a shared hardship, the kind that can create a strong bond in relationships.
Parents with children face a similar situation.
Hiding a vibrator or dildo may cause a certain sense of unease for parents of inquisitive children. But, needing to conceal floggers and other similar implements of instruction can be more anxiety inducing still.
The need to keep our authentic lives secret creates a shared hardship that bonds those of us who have immersed ourselves in power exchange ever closer to each other.
bond – Michael’s way
I really don’t enjoy power exchange, or any form of BDSM play, without a connection. It does nothing for me without a bond.
I stopped doing “pick-up” play of any kind a while back, for that very reason.
I need that bond. It could be said that I crave it.
Without that connection, the power exchange is really a role-play. Roleplaying and cosplay are fun, but they aren’t what truly fuel my fire.