a power exchange relationship is like a bicycle

The Lead Wheel

by | Jul 3, 2017 | Joy of Kink | 0 comments

My name is Michael Samadhi.  I am the lead wheel.

My blog, Michael’s Way, will detail some life’s journey, document topics of interest, discuss interesting news, and share some quotes.  Hopefully, I’ll be able to share a little bit of knowledge too. I’ve accrued my share of knowledge in the 53 years I’ve inhabited this mortal coil.  I’d like to think at least a small portion is actually useful.

I’m a dominant, a Master, a consensual slave owner.  For anyone that might be confused by that “slave” designation, and for those who might be confused by the terminology, or who’s familiarity with slavery is only with forced (or non-consensual) slavery, I assure what I practice is nothing at all like that.

Everything I do is consensual, with the sober and informed consent of my partner(s).  That’s the most basic and universally observed principle of conduct for those of us who live a BDSM lifestyle.

I’m nothing like Christian Grey (Of 50 Shades of Grey fame) either.  I’m not rich, certainly.  But, more importantly, I’m in control of myself.  I don’t chase unwilling young ladies, I can control my emotions, and my sexuality too.  In order to Master others, you must first Master yourself.

the bicycle

The most simple analogy I can offer is that my relationship style is a lot like a bicycle.

I am the lead wheel of the bicycle.  It’s my responsibility to steer our relationship.  It’s my job to direct and lead in a way to assure we both reach our desired destinations.  That’s true whether the encounter with my partner lasts an hour, a night, or a lifetime.  My relationships are power exchange relationships by design.

Obviously then, any partner with whom I may have a relationship will (by definition) fulfill the role of the rear wheel.  My partner’s submission, service, and surrender are the forces that provide drive.  They power the relationship with their submission.

Make no mistake, regardless of who ultimately makes the decisions, even power exchange relationships are true partnerships.  At least that’s my ideal. A bicycle loses it’s identity – ceases to exist – without a rear wheel.  Instead, it becomes a unicycle.

So a Dominant needs a submissive, a Master must have a slave, in order to be complete, in order to be worthy of the title.  Just as a bicycle needs two wheels.

yin and yang

Another analogy for my relationships is Yin-Yang symbol and it’s meaning.

There are two poles of cosmic energy that are yang (positive) and yin (negative). Yin and Yang are associated respectively with the masculine and the feminine, the strong and the weak, the light and the dark, the firm and the yielding.  

At the root of Yin’s existence is Yang; at the root of Yang’s is Yin.

At the root of being a Master is having a slave.  At the root of being a slave is having a Master.  

The same is true for sadism and masochism.  If there is such a thing as God, I can’t believe he would create a sadist, if it were not to satisfy another’s masochistic needs.


I also see a parallel in Tantric teachings . . .

“The entire universe is a manifestation of pure consciousness. In manifesting the universe, this pure consciousness seems to become divided into two poles or aspects, neither of which can exist without the other. One aspect retains a static quality and remains identified with unmanifest consciousness. In Tantra this quality is called Shiva, and is conceptualized as masculine… The other part of this polarity is a dynamic, energetic, or creative aspect that is called Shakti, the great mother of the universe, for it is from her that all is born.”

     Swami Rama

In my mind Tantra and BDSM are intertwined. Although some Tantric “purists” would say that BDSM activities and Tantra are mutually exclusive, I’d disagree.  Strongly.

More than 15 years ago, when I first started studying Tantra, I found direct similarities in the altered states of consciousness that BDSM and Tantric practices can create.  Using the word “similarities” is probably a terrific understatement.

I’m convinced that some fairly well-known altered states of consciousness created by BDSM (sub-space and top-space are two commonly used names for this phenomena) are exactly the same as the headspace created by Tantric practices and rituals. So it’s simple for me to transmute the archetypes of Shiva and Shakti into the roles my partner and I play for each other.

back to the bike

Yes, I’m the lead wheel.

The bicycle analogy is likely the strongest of all that I’ve offered.  It’s simple and straightforward. It’s by far the most universally understood.

I should probably also mention that there is more than a little personal history with the bicycle analogy.

But, that is a story for another time . . .

Joy of Kink The Lead Wheel
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