This entry is part 26 of 26 in the series Blogging from A to Z

No, you sick twisted kinky bastards, that’s zelophilia, not zoophilia, up in the subject line . . .

That zoo word is the other “Z” word.

We’re not going there today, as we wouldn’t want to bring down the ire of the ASPCA.


I don’t want Casa Samadhi raided by PETA!  Know what I mean?

Let me assure you that no animals we’re harmed in the making of this post.

That’s why “Z” is for zelophilia, a term that refers to an individual who becomes aroused by jealousy.

In theory the arousal can be triggered by any partner in a relationship becoming jealous.  But, it’s my understanding that’s it’s probably far more common for zelophiles to become aroused by their own jealousy.

From a psychological and physiological standpoint, it’s likely that most folks who experience zelophilia in the form of being aroused by their own jealousy are attracted by the adrenaline rush that comes with the fear of losing a partner.

In some cases, a person with zelophilia will go as far as taking their lover to a orgy or other group sex event in order to put them into a situation likely to cause jealous feelings.  The zelophile then experiences a mix of jealousy and excitement when their lover entertains sexual advances from others.

Within my own personal experience, I once ran across a couple where the husband, an apparent zelophile, encouraged his wife to go out on random craigslist type encounters, because he got turned on by the retelling of the tales of her sexual exploits.  I’m guessing at least a hint of jealousy existed on his part, and likely more than just a small measure.  To my eye, there’s probably a mix of sexual paraphilias at work in that situation.  There’s an element of xenophilia on her part, which played to his zelophilia.  It also describes a common fantasy scenario for cuckolds.

It’s my own personal observation that, for many in the cuckold lifestyle, there is probably more than a little bit of zelophilia at play in their cuckolding fetish.  Undoubtedly for some in that lifestyle, there are other elements at work as well, but for the cucks I’ve talked to, they describe being drawn to the mix of jealousy and excitement they feel seeing (or knowing) that their lover is being satisfied by another.  That fits the description of zelophilia perfectly.

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With those things said, with the definition and description of  zelophilia under our belts, I can’t say that I fully understand this fetish.  As a dominant and master, I’m pretty much the opposite of a zelophile.

It’s true that I shared Serafina with a couple of other dominants as a part of her training, but it has never elicited jealousy within me.

Most of all, in those instances, I felt a sense of pride that my slave had progressed in her training, and overcome some of her own personal inhibitions.  When she plays with my friend Alpha, I feel compersion, a term that was coined by the Keristan Commune in San Francisco.  Compersion is defined as taking personal pleasure in the joy that others you love share among themselves.

It’s said among those of us who practice polyamory, that compersion is the opposite of jealousy.  To my eye, zelophilia and compersion would truly seem to be opposite faces of the same coin.  Both involve getting pleasure from sharing our partners with others, but it seems that the personal motivations for them are very different.

“z” is for zelophilia



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Blogging from A to Z Challenge “Z” is for Zelophilia
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